Hobo: It’s not like I even mean to keep talking. I don’t wanna keep talking. They fucked up when they started making Taco Bell Doritos. They take away the molasses! Why? Because they know I like it. I smoked crack with the FBI. Hasta la vista, nigger. Next time I see you, I’m gonna blow crack smoke into your head, you fucking bitch. –W Train
Archive for the ‘Insults’ Category
Someone Please Punch Her
Bitch: Oh hi! We were just speaking very poorly about you! –Art Gallery, SoHo Overheard by: Tibbie X
Thankfully There’s Only 2 From Each State
Man #1: They’re just a bunch of high-class lowlifes.
Man #2: Yeah, and I’m one of them!
–D’Agastino’s, 26th St.
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Diner Fun
Drunk: Where’s my boy, man? –Odessa, Ave. A
Ranch 1derful
Ranch One Flyer Guy: Ranch One. [pushes flyer]
Lady: Ugh, get away from me.
Ranch One Flyer Guy: Screw you!
Cell Phone Fun
Man on cell: I’ve got an idea. How about you go fuck yourself?…Say what? You don’t think so?
These People Really Do Exist in New York…
A fat Italian “businessman” in a Members Only jacket is standing on the corner talking to 2 other fat Italian guys. An SUV drives by, honks the horn twice, and then speeds off. The “businessman” turns around quickly and loudly yells: Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Fuckin’ faggot. –LES
Clearly There’s a Correlation
Girl with headphones: Olivia? She’s a whore!…and she’s the most important person at school. –Grand St. & West Broadway Overheard by: John Kuramoto
Readers: Suggest a Snappy Comeback
Male employee: Thank you, and have a nice day!
Female employee: It’s night time, you say have a good night. See the dark outside?
–McDonald’s, Saint Mark’s Place
The Comeback Is: “A Bitch Can’t Be a Team Player”
Yuppie: So I said to him, “But I’m a team player” and then he looked at me and said, “Yeah, my dog’s a team player” and ever since then, I’ve been trying to think of a witty comeback but I haven’t. – 6 Train