Archive for the ‘Insults’ Category

The Virtue of Selfishness

Pastry Shop Worker: Is anyone willing to give up their seat for a girl that has to stand on her feet all day?
Train Riders: [SILENCE]
Pastry Shop Worker: Come on, all you guys just go sit in front of your computers every day, how damn hard is that? I have to make shit for people and stand on my feet all day. You people are so selfish! –6 Train

Fun at the Post Office

A young man apparently cuts the line at the PO. Old Italian: Hey, there’s a line here buddy.
Young guy: I waited already, I got money orders.
Old Italian: I didn’t see you anywhere near the line.
Young guy: I got money orders before and now I’m mailing them.
Old Italian: We’ve all got orders. Geez, no one wants to wait on line any more. And now the guy’s serving him.
Young guy: Shut up.
Old Italian: Ah, get lost, you idiot. If I was five years younger I would put you up against the wall.
Postal Worker: Next.
Old Italian: How much to send this express mail?
Postal Worker: $13.65.
Old Italian: Maron. –Bensonhurst

This Is Why Our Editor Loves His Neighborhood

American woman: Don’t push me. I saw you trying to get ahead of me!
Russian woman: What you talking about? I did not.
American woman: You did, too! You’re all the same, so goddamn pushy.
Russian woman: What, what you think I am? Look at me! What you think I am? What I look like to you?
American woman: Well, I’d say you look like a fat big mouthed bleach blonde bitch whore!
Russian woman: What? I get my husband on you!
American woman: Go ahead! I’m sure he’s home and not working. You’re all here for a free handout! The Russian woman storms out to find her husband. American woman: What did she want? She asked what do I look like so I told her. I was only being honest! –Bensonhurst Overheard by: Deborah Olin

Here's the Church, Here's the Steeple, Open the Doors and See All the Wednesday One-Liners

Catholic schoolgirls coming out of subway station, in unison: All those nuns care about is fucking us!

–Canal & Varick

Girl on phone, mocking tone: Oh, he's at church, huh? I don't know why he goes to church, he's going to hell anyway, ain't no room for a Blood in heaven!

–BedStuy

Woman: I wanted to raise them Quaker; I just never got around to it.

–The Village

Overheard by: Aaron

Old lady: Well, she's a bitch to say she's religious!

–Madison Ave