Overheard In New York

Archive for the ‘Intelligentsia’ Category

I Call It ‘Ramnesia’

Intellectual #1: So, what’s the problem?
Intellectual #2: She gets all pouty when she doesn’t get what she wants.
Intellectual #1: Ugh, that’s the worst. I hate that.
Intellectual #2: Well, pouty doesn’t really bother me so much as long as you can fuck it out of them, you know? I just don’t think I can be with a chick if I can’t fuck her and make her forget whatever it is she’s upset with me about.

–Bar 89, Mercer St

Overheard by: Fox

Wednesday On-Liners

Chick on cell: Why did you tell dad about that?…Well, he was going to find out sooner or later when he saw me on the website.

–Union Square Female midget: Yeah, they’re installing the internet in my new apartment and apparently they need a computer.

–Elevator, ABC building, 66th St

Overheard by: Mojosaves World traveler: Really, you can get anything on the streets of Bangkok. Thai prostitutes, smoothies, passport pictures…It’s like Craigslist.

–20th & 8th

Overheard by: laughing out loud Catholic school girl on cell: Danny, it’s me. I have some bad news. We’re on a break. Call me back when you get this message….[Hangs up and redials] Maria! What am I going to do about my MySpace?! –4th Ave Overheard by: Joe Blonde on cell: Seriously, I love you, but…Seriously…Seriously, you’re an asshole. You’re a dick! Why didn’t you just tell me the fucking truth!…Well, I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I posted those pictures on MySpace, but…Well, be a fucking man about it and tell me the fucking truth then!…Seriously, I love you. –23rd & 8th Overheard by: wild dog boy Loud guy on cell: So how do I get this done? Do I go on the internet or something?… I want to be able to print my own bounty hunter license immediately. –11th & 6th Suit: When I was working for my old company, all we would do is download porn. –Grand & Varick

They’re Not Going to Be One-Upped on the Surrealism

Guy #1: You know that Anton Webern’s Quartet for the End of Time was performed in a concentration camp? Crazy.
Guy #2: Yeah. He died real weird. I forget how. I think the Nazis shot him.
Total stranger: Actually he was shot by Allied soldiers. He was breaking curfew smoking a cigarette, and they mistook him for his brother-in-law, who was an alleged Nazi spy.
Guy #1: Oh, I see. Thanks.
Total stranger: Any other questions? I just ride this train all day waiting to answer questions on twentieth-century music composition. The next car has an expert on Chekhov, and the conductor studies philosophy.
Guy #1: So anyway, Slavic girls are pretty hot.
Guy #2: Yeah, for real.

–7 train

Hey, Syd! Do We Have to Pay Corpses Scale?

Woman: Oh, he looked so old and sick in that movie. Really horrible.
Man: You know he died, right?
Woman: Oh, they must have made the movie before that.

–NJ Transit train out of Penn Station

Overheard by: confabulation nation

You Had Seven Months to Learn Verbal Communication, And Now We Try It My Way

Chick #1: So she taught the baby to use sign language? Is that because the baby only speaks Spanish?
Chick #2: No, because it’s seven months old and doesn’t speak.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: kelley girl

Simplex-Minded Decision Making

Girl: …and when he came back, it looked like he had herpes! Herpes everywhere!
Queer: And you still hit that?
Girl: Well, it looked like he did, but it was dark and I wasn’t sure.

–Spring & W Broadway

As Deep and Shitty As…a Really Deep and Very Shitty Thing

Guy #1: That’s far. That shit is deep.
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: 14th.
Guy #2: You think that’s deep? Shit.

–St Mark’s, between 1st & 2nd

Overheard by: Jon Door