Archive for the ‘Internet’ Category

If You Have to Ask…

Guy: I just geeked out my profile by a million percent. What do you think?
Girl: Hold up, let me check…
Guy: So what do you think?
Girl: Yeah, that Evangelion child shit is weird.
Guy: Like how weird? –Starbucks, Astor Place Overheard by: Zah

Wednesday One-Liners Haven’t Met Most Of Their Friends

Yuppie: I don’t google enough. –F Train, 7th Ave Overheard by: imaginexrach Girl on cell: Not being on Facebook is ruining my life! –NYU Bus Overheard by: Asian Kid Assistant on phone, about her 17-year-old daughter’s MySpace page: I find it interesting that she and her friend Shannon have the same friend listed. Some 32-year-old guy in California named Tom! –Office on 42nd & Madison Overheard by: herspace Man: I’m going to go home and e-mail some shameless bitches. –8th St & Broadway Grad student at computer, dolefully: Without right-click I just don’t know what to do with the world. –Columbia University Overheard by: Ladle

The Biggest Wednesday One-Liner

Girl to friend: Is there a way to block fat people on OkCupid? –Bedford Ave & 8th Girlfriend to boyfriend: Remember the other day when you told me I had a fat ass and I didn't curse you out? So now you gonna buy me something. –Pizzeria, 77th St & 1st Ave Overheard by: Eric Older woman waiting for a seat: Oh good, the fat one got up. Shit, an even fatter sits down. –JFK Airport Overheard by: Henry Pena Posh-looking Asian chick: But he consumed over 6,000 calories a day, so he deserved whatever he had coming. –Park Slope Overheard by: Ladle White hip-hopper on cell: Yeah, she's so big I thought there was two of her. Then I realized she was a dude! –Broome & Forsyth Overheard by: Terry

On eHarmony, No Less.

College girl #1: For two people who've been together for so long, Jen and Mike really haven't done much in bed. She was so surprised to hear how far I went with Steve.
College girl #2: I thought they've had sex?
College girl #1: Yeah, but he's never seen her boobs!!
College girl #2: They had sex and he's never seen her boobs? Nate has seen my boobs–does that make me a whore?
College girl #1: Steve has seen my boobs too…
College girl #2: Who is more of a whore?
College girl #1: Me–definitely me.
College girl #2: I don't think so.
College girl #1: Let's have a competition.
College girl #2: I met him over the internet!
College girl #1: Oh yeah! You win. –Union Square

Wednesday One-Liners with Two Percent Body Fat

Hipster girl to another: Yeah, everyone has a crush on him, but he’s got halitosis. And a concave chest! –MoMA Hipster chick to friend: Whoa. I just felt totally suffocated by capitalist society. –NYU Hipster in rainbow moonboots: So I say to this girl as I’m roofie-ing her juice box… –Union Square Overheard by: eliza Hipster chick on cell: Hello? Hey! Guess what? I found my underwear! –1st Ave Overheard by: Aria Grillo Hipster: I mean, you can’t just rock a sombrero and think that it’s cool. –6th & 10th Overheard by: El Hipster chick to tourist friends: … And across the street is where Albert Greenberg lived for a while. –E 2nd St, across street from Allen Ginsberg’s former walkup Overheard by: midtown_strangler Hipster chick: I wanna create a website: Nine-Eleven — get over it. –4 train Overheard by: Hurtz donit