Archive for the ‘Internet’ Category

Look, Can We Just Fuck So I Can Stop Pretending to Care?

Girl #1, about her new website: So, our e-newsletter will be sent out weekly with pictures accompanying every article….
Girl #2, trying really hard to be interested: That’s a very… interesting way to keep things… interesting, and get people… interested… in what you’re selling. That’s great! –Greyhound bus, Port Authority Overheard by: Sim

Wednesday One-Liners Belch Diesel Fumes

Excited bus driver: Next stop, 6th Avenue! Herald Square! Vicky's secret! Something for everyone! Get off!! Get off! –M16 Bus Overheard by: nora! Bus driver: Everyone who is exceedingly good-looking move to the back of the bus!
(people giggle but still not much room in front)
Bus driver: Well, it's good to know you're a modest bunch, but you gotta move back or I'm not moving this bus. –Bus, Central Park West Overheard by: passenger Bus driver over sound system: Dis bus is out of service! Dis bus is out of service! People in da back get up, close the fucken back window, and leave! –Bx9 Bus Bus driver over intercom: Good morning, this is a friendly reminder that the holiday shopping season now begins the day after Halloween. Make sure to allot six hours extra travel time as the city gets rather hectic at this time. –M23 Bus Bus driver over intercom: Come on, move back, people. There's coffee and jelly donuts in the back of the bus. –Crosstown Bus, 57th St Overheard by: Flexy Bus driver (calmly): Move to the back of the bus. I heard there is mad room in the back of the bus. Mad room. I got an e-mail up here that says there is mad room in the back. Can someone quantify how much is "mad" for me? Mad room in the back of the bus. Mad room. Mad room! –Crowded Q 55 Bus Overheard by: Matt Bus driver: This is the Q44 express going to Jamaica. We are traveling along Main Street, next stop is 41st Avenue. For those of you that don't speak English: blah, blah, blah, blah… –Bus, Flushing

Wednesday Bites the Big One-Liner

Teen scene girl: And that's a whole fucking different story! You always said you wanted to die having a heart attack in a car! –57th & 3rd Overheard by: Duluthian Guy in line: I haven't had a corn dog since Jim Belushi died. –Nathan's, Coney Island Creepy guy on cell: Hey. Did you hear about the Craigslist killer? Yeah, isn't that a great idea? –Penn Station 20-something irritated man on cell: Dude, stop freaking out! They're probably not going to do the autopsy for another three days. –8th Ave & 15th St Conductor: Please, no one cross cars, if the train makes a turn you will fall through, get crushed and die, thank you and have a lovely evening. Oh, and it's lovely to be alive. –Amtrak Train to Penn Station Overheard by: Paige

Yeah, She Was Mildly Hot

Chick #1: What is your middle name?
Chick #2: I don’t want to tell you.
Chick #1: Why won’t you tell me what your middle name is? I showed you a picture of me naked!
Chick #2: That is so not the same. Your naked picture is on the Internet. Anyone can see it!
Mid-30s guy two seats away: I’m sorry, but what’s the address of that website? –Bronx-bound A train Overheard by: Julia