Archive for the ‘iPod’ Category

His Last Girlfriend Wore a Pink Jacket But Couldn’t Tell Time

Hipster: I love my iPod. If you try to take my iPod, I’ll take your life… and give it to somebody.
Sidekick: Yeah?
Hipster: Yeah, I love my iPod. It plays what I want to hear and tells time. If I’m gonna marry anybody, I’ll marry my iPod.
Sidekick: Yeah?
Hipster: Yeah. I’ll even put one of those little pink jacket things on it, so it’ll at least look like a girl.
Sidekick: Yeah.
–N train

Overheard by: britt

I’m Pretty Sure She Meant ‘Inconvenient’

Ghetto girl #1: So I took [the iPod].
Ghetto girl #2: See, if it was sitting on top I would take it, but I wouldn’t go through their bag. That’s just inconsiderate. –Downtown D train Overheard by: Brian
Headline by: Lisa
Runners-Up:
· “But When I Stabbed Her I Kept My Pinkie Finger Sticking Out” – tech98
· “Comes With Nano-Sized Morals and Earbuds to Block Out the Sounds of Your Cellmates” – Mia A.
· “If You Still Want to Listen to Nelly Furtado, Steal Another iPod Within 12 Hours” – Hunter North
· “It’s Not Like It Was Tied to His Wheelchair All That Tightly Either” – corey mcpubes
· “It’s Only Rape If She’s Wearing Undewear” – john
· “Martha Says: ‘When Jacking Someone’s Tunes, It’s Proper to Leave an Origami Swan in Their Bag. It’s a Good Thing.'” – Jatmos
· “Maybe She Was Borrowing It From a Friend, You Racist Fucks” – ceci
· “She’s Practicing So She Knows How to Get Time Off For Good Behavior” – Shane
· “That Reminds Me of the Time I Found a Walkman Next to a Dead Rollerblader.” – Hobo Whisperer
· “There’s a Big Difference Between Stealing and Stealing” – Piret
· “When I Turned the Bag Upside Down, It Was on Top. DUH!” – Redneck Jedi

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