Archive for the ‘Islam’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners (the King James Version)

Cute chick on cell: If the Amish can do it, so can you. [Pause, then louder.] If the Amish can do it, so can you! –113th & Amsterdam Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy Lady on cell: You tell my momma to get her ass to church and stop sinning! –Grand Concourse, 205th St. Overheard by: LSB Black guy to another: Go to the Catholic church, cracka. They got good drugs. –11th & A Middle Eastern man: I believe in Islam and Allah, but I drink, I smoke, and I fuck. When I stop doing those things, then I’ll pray. –C Train Overheard by: Mark Thug: I totally invented the Chuck Norris religion. –Queens Mall Overheard by: LSB

Yet Another Drawback of Abstinence-Only Education

White guy to girl: You know both these guys are Muslim, so don’t piss them off. Muslims don’t care if they die because then they’ll get 72 virgins.
Muslim #1: It’s not 72 virgins, it’s 45 virgins.
Muslim #2: I thought it was 40 virgins.
White guy: But a Muslim person told me that it was 72 virgins.
Muslim #1: What are you gonna do with 72 virgins, man?
White guy: The same thing you’re gonna do with 45 virgins, but I would get tired of telling them what to do. –MetroTech, Lawrence St Overheard by: Jannine Ramlochan

America's First Black Wednesday One-Liners

Tranny heading toward Halloween parade, seeing Sarah Palin costume: Oh my god! That's the lady President, right? The assistant President! –W 4th St Subway Station (muslim hot dog vendor bows down to pray at 5 pm)
Child in stroller: Look! Look! Mommy! Barack Obama! –W 60th & Columbus Overheard by: Brian Thug, to hot girl passing by: Hey! Yo, girl, excuse me! (she keeps walking) So, you're voting for McCain, then? –60th St & 3rd Ave Overheard by: Alex A. Little girl: I want to vote for Obama…because he's the first black person to run against Bush. –Washington Square Park Overheard by: Dana Sidewalk watch vendor: These are the watches Obama wore before he became Senator! –33rd St & Broadway Overheard by: crosstown girl Little black girl trick-or-treating with family: Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate? Obama! Obama! –Pacific St & Nostrand Overheard by: Obama Now!

Happy Holidays–NYC Style

White Muslim Woman: The women who were sitting here were laughing at me because of how I look. I’m a social worker. Some of my clients are OMRDD so I read lips real well. Because I’m Muslim they didn’t like my outfit. They think we don’t care about how we dress. I was actually Krishna before I was Muslim. The Christmas holidays, the spirit is supposed to be giving. My daughter’s Christian still. That’s why I’m laughing. In my house we used to have Kwanzaa, everything. I knew my husband for three years. I taught him English. I was his teacher! I just converted. Reversion, they call it. Then two weeks later we got married. English I taught him and he was teaching me Arabic. We met in a store ’cause they have restrictions about coming up to a woman’s apartment…They don’t think you understand English, but I speak Spanish and Italian. One time this lady said she thought I was disgusting. I told her “You’re disgusting!” in Spanish. I was peeing my pants. I was hysterical. –D Train

…According to the Daily Scramble in The Crackpot Times

African-American preacher: Everybody singing about Obama. Obaaaaammma. Obaaaaaaama. Obama ain't black, learn the truth, Obama is Al-Qaeda. Obama is Muslim. You know how Obama got them black man lips from smoking them Marlboro cigarettes.
Traditionally-dressed African-American man: You don't know what you're talking about, motherfucker. You were brainwashed by the white man.
African-American preacher: That's racist! The bible doesn't see in black and white. Obama's a homo! Obama's a baby killer! –2 Train