Man on subway, about to exit: Obama, Islam, Canada. Obama, in Islam, and Canada. (exits train) –Downtown D Train Overheard by: katiekatydid Thug to tourists: How do you say "thank you" in Canadian? –34th & 7th Ave Overheard by: Fluent in Canadian Student: I'm so sick and tired of your Canadian condescension. –Eugene Lang College Crazy Brooklynite at a payphone: The Queen owns everything! She owns Europe, she owns Africa, and she owns Canada! The one thing she doesn't own is the US. So could somebody give me a US quarter for a Canadian quarter? –Broadway & 8th St Ditzy blonde to another: Do we look Canadian? –Chelsea Overheard by: Holls
Guy #1: Wait, maybe it isn't really a synagogue.
Guy #2: Maybe it's a Madrassa.
Guy #3: It's a speakeasy. –W 86th St, Outside Society for the Advancement of Judaism Overheard by: Emily B.
Louis Vuitton-carrying mother: Now I'm going to a halal meat market in Brooklyn next week!
Louis Vuitton-carrying daughter: I want to go to a halal market! Ever since I wrote my thesis I just love refugees!
Mother: Halal markets are for Muslims, not refugees!
Daughter: Well, close enough. –75th & Lexington
Cute queer to hot Asian friend: I would rather have you drive drunk and stay at a friend's place in Manhattan then take a cab back to Jersey. –Manhattan Professor: For Muslims, the afterlife is more real to them than it is to me or you. For them, dying is like…going to New Jersey. Beautiful New Jersey. –Stern Building, NYU Overheard by: Emily Trashy girl (knocking on door of a convenience store that just closed): Yo, let me in! I just want to buy a Heineken before I go back to New Jersey! –W 108th & Amsterdam Ave Overheard by: MR Construction worker to people exiting PATH station: You're from Jersey! You should be happy! –Vesey St & Church St 20-something on cell: I'm at Penn station and there are so many guidos and guidettes on their way back to Jersey. Watching them is like watching babies stuck in a McDonald's ball pit. –Penn Station NJ Transit worker: You'd be surprised how many honest people there are in New Jersey. –Port Authority Bus Terminal Overheard by: Jersey Girl Conductor: This is a Jersey bound Q train. Oh shiiiiit. –Brooklyn Bound Q Train Overheard by: office peon
Bearded guy to female friend: I went to Williamsburg and was like: "Who *are* all these people that look just like me? –Café Pick Me Up, 9th & Ave A Overheard by: Doibles Young hipster: I only date girls from the Lower East Side or Williamsburg. –9th St & Ave A Overheard by: bildita NYU girl to friend: Berlin is like, the new, like… Williamsburg. –4th Ave & 12th St Overheard by: john.ainley Young girl: I’m Middle Eastern, and I swear to god if I see another honky wearing a keffiyeh I’m going to commit fucking Jihad on Williamsburg. –Park Slope, Brooklyn Visitor, looking around in bewilderment: Why is everyone trying to look like they’re poor? –Bagel Shop, Williamsburg Overheard by: NCT
Cute chick on cell: If the Amish can do it, so can you. [Pause, then louder.] If the Amish can do it, so can you! –113th & Amsterdam Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy Lady on cell: You tell my momma to get her ass to church and stop sinning! –Grand Concourse, 205th St. Overheard by: LSB Black guy to another: Go to the Catholic church, cracka. They got good drugs. –11th & A Middle Eastern man: I believe in Islam and Allah, but I drink, I smoke, and I fuck. When I stop doing those things, then I’ll pray. –C Train Overheard by: Mark Thug: I totally invented the Chuck Norris religion. –Queens Mall Overheard by: LSB
Eight-year-old Italian boy: My god… My god isn’t Allah, right?
Teenage sister: You don’t have a god.
Eight-year-old Italian boy, screaming: Yes I do! –30th Ave & Crescent St, Astoria Overheard by: Regardless, he surely has a beard
Middle East man, exiting his vendor cart: But I miss you!
Retreating American woman: You have, like, five wives and three girlfriends.
Middle East man: No! I do not! –13th & 5th Overheard by: Colleen
Mid-20s girl: I never date a guy who gets more than three questions wrong on the SATs. I don’t plan it, it just works out that way. –23rd & 8th Overheard by: Limey Hipster on cell: I went through this time when I was like, ‘I could have 800 girlfriends at the same time and just not tell them about each other.’ That was much easier… –Bedford Ave, Williamsburg Guy pointing to nothing in particular on the sidewalk: Uh, dude, you dropped your girlfriend. –Times Square Overheard by: christine Muslim woman in full abaya, dragging husband along: Right now I need to focus on my needs. Do you hear me? This is about my needs! –Atlantic Ave, in front of Brooklyn Heights YMCA Man to woman on the sidewalk: Well, we had our one, but it wasn’t so much a fight as it was a mini-series. –12th, between 6th & 5th Overheard by: Karen Girl: My asshole boyfriend! I was just staying with him until Valentine’s Day so that I could get a present, and tomorrow he’s history! But then I didn’t even get that! –NYU Silver Center
Hairdresser #1: So, you’re a practicing Muslim?
Hairdresser #2: Yep.
Hairdresser #1: So, do Muslims pray to God, or Mohammed, or both?
Hairdresser #2: I don’t really get into the details. –East 19th St & Ave R, Brooklyn Overheard by: brooklyn blonde Headline by: ilemanzer Runners-Up: · “I pray to Allah Updo and Crewcut Christ” – katcob · “I’m just into the hating Jews part.” – DaveO · “I’m more about the accessories” – Ty · “Islam is in-er than Thai ladyboys this season.” – eyp · “Neither does the President.” – Becca
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