Archive for the ‘Japanese’ Category

How Many Weight Watchers Points Are in a Wednesday One-Liner?

Average-sized woman on cell: He said "big boned." Yeah, "you're a big boned girl… Like your dad, kinda big boned." (pause) Yeah, so, I didn't really feel like eating much after that.

–Queens

Overheard by: bdlilrbt

Girl to friend: I always think I'm a thin person, but then I look into the mirror and realize I'm not.

–3rd & 13th

Super skinny Japanese girl: I brought my juice with me. Then I ordered dessert. But my juice just looked better than eating dessert.

–Downtown 1 Train

Overheard by: dignell

Middle aged women to friend: Yeah, we took her in for a few weeks. She was fine, but didn't eat much. But that's because she kind of has an eating disorder. (they burst out into a fit of laughter)

–F Train

Girl getting soda to friend: You know, it's the ice that makes you fat. I heard that somewhere.

–Cafeteria, Marymount Manhattan

Overheard by: Hannah

Comic Books May Have Given You Some Unrealistic Expectations

Japanese student/tourist seemingly waiting for luggage: How long are you in New York for?
Woman waiting for luggage: Just for one night. I'm here for a conference and then I'm flying back tomorrow.
Japanese student/tourist: This is my fall break. I will be here through Tuesday.
Woman: That's nice. I hope you go out and have a nice time.
Japanese student/tourist: Yes. (pause) Sex.

–JFK Airport

‘Cause If You Do Like Torture, My Culture Is All Over That

D.O.M.: I really like your culture.
Cute Japanese bartender: You… like torture?
D.O.M.: What? No, no… Culture — culture….
Bartender: [Silence.]
D.O.M.: Culture. Man, how do I say this…?
Bartender: [Silence.]
D.O.M.: … I like what you guys do.
Bartender, leery: Thanks…

–Japanese restaurant

Overheard by: aulevan

Speaking of Cheesy Things?

JAP #1: Oh my god, is that how you spell ‘quiche’? I always thought it was spelled K-E-E-S-H. That is a really weird spelling.
JAP #2: Yeah, that is a totally weird spelling.
JAP #1: And I’m usually such a good speller!
JAP #2: Yeah, you are totally such a good speller! … Have you ever seen Sixteen Candles?

–Whole Foods, Union Square

Overheard by: unhipster

Wednesday One-Liners Built the Tower of Babel

Guy: Hey! Where’s my Sudanese pussy from Chinatown? –14th & University Guy on cell: I’ll meet you at the corner by the store with Chinese writing…Hey, wait a minute. All the fucking signs around here have Chinese writing. –Walker & Lafayette Overheard by: Wolf Guy on cell: So, if this is true, then Dracula’s native language would be Hungarian rather than Romanian. And I think that is important for my research. –Anthology Film Archives, 2nd St & 2nd Ave Overheard by: nosy cinephile Teen girl: This bag is mad Aztec. –13th & University Co-Worker: So, did she mention anything about Mexicans? –Office, W 36th St Overheard by: Evan Well-Traveled girl: Mexico is not a Third-World country. JFK is. –Tea Lounge, Park Slope Small child: Mommy, look! You can tell he’s Mexican by his eyes! –Bodies exhibit, South Street Seaport White girl, to Asian girl: So wait, is he just not Japanese or not interested? –Walgreens, Union Square Overheard by: Goldie Businesswoman: Well you can’t kill a Vietnamese man because that would just cost too much. –I Trulli restaurant, E 27th St Hobo: You’re not Polish; you just think you’re Polish! –Tompkins Square Park Voice over intercom: Will the foreign exchange student please come to the cashier. –Century 21 Sassy chick: I can’t believe she’s moving to fucking Cambodia to live with a fucking cricket-hunter she’s only known for two months! –TGI Friday’s, 52nd & 7th Overheard by: Shaina