Guy: Hey! Where’s my Sudanese pussy from Chinatown? –14th & University Guy on cell: I’ll meet you at the corner by the store with Chinese writing…Hey, wait a minute. All the fucking signs around here have Chinese writing. –Walker & Lafayette Overheard by: Wolf Guy on cell: So, if this is true, then Dracula’s native language would be Hungarian rather than Romanian. And I think that is important for my research. –Anthology Film Archives, 2nd St & 2nd Ave Overheard by: nosy cinephile Teen girl: This bag is mad Aztec. –13th & University Co-Worker: So, did she mention anything about Mexicans? –Office, W 36th St Overheard by: Evan Well-Traveled girl: Mexico is not a Third-World country. JFK is. –Tea Lounge, Park Slope Small child: Mommy, look! You can tell he’s Mexican by his eyes! –Bodies exhibit, South Street Seaport White girl, to Asian girl: So wait, is he just not Japanese or not interested? –Walgreens, Union Square Overheard by: Goldie Businesswoman: Well you can’t kill a Vietnamese man because that would just cost too much. –I Trulli restaurant, E 27th St Hobo: You’re not Polish; you just think you’re Polish! –Tompkins Square Park Voice over intercom: Will the foreign exchange student please come to the cashier. –Century 21 Sassy chick: I can’t believe she’s moving to fucking Cambodia to live with a fucking cricket-hunter she’s only known for two months! –TGI Friday’s, 52nd & 7th Overheard by: Shaina
American guy #1: Remember when you were here last year, and Mike was spinning you around, and dropped you on your head?
Japanese girl: What?
American guy #2: Last year! In New York! You were here! I took your legs and went like this! I dropped you on your head!
Japanese girl: Yes! Yes! Ha, ha, ha, ha!
American guy #1: Dude, she loves it! Most girls, if you dropped them on their heads, would be like, “Fuck you, I’m never talking to you again.” –C train
Black girl: Oh my God, this train is crowded.
Japanese guy: In Tokyo, the trains are much more crowded than this!
Black girl: Why? ’cause they can fit so many more of you little guys on it? –6 train Overheard by: Carri
The subway doors open. A hobo enters, holding a bottle of windex in one hand and a tube of toothpaste in the other.
Hobo: Which is the better time to read Dostyevsky? Winter?
He sprays the windex.
Hobo: Or Spring?
He squeezes toothpaste out of the tube.
Japanese girl: Spring!
Hobo: You are correct.
Overheard by: Pete Johnson
Fat black woman: Hey, watch where you’re going! Say “excuse me” instead of bumping into me like that. Don’t you know how to speak English?
Japanese girl: You need a diet! –Penn station Overheard by: JL