JAP on cell: Yeah, he’s cute, but he’s from Staten Island!…Ever see that show on MTV, True Life: I’m Getting Married? Yeah, that guy was such trash, and everyone out there is like that! –Port Authority Overheard by: Rebecca Dash
Archive for the ‘JAPs’ Category
The JDating Of Wednesday One-Liners
JAP girl on line: Why would I be boogieing at temple?
–H&M
Overheard by: Sandjiggie
Redhead JAP: It's too bright, I can't hear you…
–41st & 3rd
JAP: Is saving the whales still, like, a thing?
–F Train
20-something JAP on cell: I mean: I don't want to say that I live in a bubble, but the only people I've spoken to in the last week and a half are you and my doorman.
–42nd St & Lexington
Overheard by: Pete
You've Never Been to the Village on a Saturday Night?
JAP #1: It's like seeing a midget in drag.
JAP #2: Oh, I've always wanted to see that.
–35th St & Lexington
Dear Rabbi Shmuley…
Shiksa: Is semen kosher for Passover?
Jewish girl: I think so. Sperm don't have hooves.
–23rd St & Lexington
Overheard by: Jason
Here's Dr. Seuss to Explain
JAP: So, they're opening this new pop-up shop in SoHo…
Asian friend: Why is it when white people open a temporary store it's called a “pop-up shop,” but when any other race does, it's called a “bazaar?”
–Q15 Bus
Interestingly, This Is Exactly How Christianity Works
JAP: Oh my god, I totally have to go to my cousin's birthday in a week. Like she is such a bitch!
Follower: I hate her because you hate her.
JAP: What? I don't hate her, she is just a little bitch.
Follower: Like, what's the difference?
JAP, walking away: The difference is you are no longer my friend and luckily you are sooo replaceable.
Follower, running behind: I'm sooo sorry! Please don't do this!
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Wednesday One-Liners! They're Just Like Us!
Creepy dad, cheerfully, to seven-year-old daughter: There's only one Lindsay Lohan!
–Downtown 1 train
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Jewish girl to friend: You know how ever since I got my shnoz done people tell me I look like Amy Winehouse?
–116th St & Broadway
Crazy black guy on bus, to no one in particular: Derek Jeter looks just like Robert Deniro, man… Just like him!
–N6 Bus
Overheard by: looks like paris hilton?
Larger reporter: I'm not going to save clothes that fit me before I gained weight in case I lose it. If I lose weight, I'm going to buy some new damn clothes. I don't want to wear stuff from 1987. I'll look stupid, I'll look like Mischa Barton.
–Midtown Office
Overheard by: you wont be mischa's size
Hipster girl to friend: I mean, I really like him… But he thinks River Phoenix is a place.
–East Village
“I'm a Wednesday One-Liners, I'm a Lover, I'm a Child, I'm a Mother…”
Young mother to toddler son, about creepy man on train: Don't be like him when you grow up. Guys like him don't get a lotta bitches."
–4 Train
Overheard by: Mollie Reznick
JAP to companion: Gosh, I hate her. She's such a bitch. No, we haven't met before. I don't want to meet her; she's a bitch.
–L Train
Overheard by: high school was so two years ago
Woman leaving voicemail: Don't worry about the page 6 thing. It'll blow over, then we'll bury that bitch!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: David G
Gangsta: So then I had my wedding ring melted down and put in my mouth. So every time that bitch saw me smile, she saw my ring.
–A Train
Overheard by: jm
LIRR commuter: And look, I love my daughter to death, but that girl is a *bitch*!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Andy
They Waved at Me
Jewish girl #1: I got an ultrasound last week.
Jewish girl #2: I had an ultrasound once. I got to see my ovaries.
Jewish girl #1: How did they look?
Jewish girl #2: Really cute!
–F Train
Overheard by: forgotmyipod
Some Of These Idiots Came from Other Countries
JAP: I can't believe all these people would come to New York to hang out in a mall.
Guy: We're here.
JAP: At least we only came from downtown.
–Bouchon Bakery, Time Warner Center
Overheard by: jj