Archive for the ‘JAPs’ Category

Wednesday One-Liner, Huh! What Is It Good For?

JAP on cell: If more people wore glitter there would no war. –Therapy Store Crazy old guy: I want a dog for president. You know why? Dogs don't start wars. –31St & Ditmars, Astoria Overheard by: Randi and Patrick (at an anti-war rally)
Street vendor: Say no to war, say yes to Louis Vuitton! –Midtown Overheard by: Oh the irony 50-something guy on cell: You see, we are a military agency, not a government agency. (pause) So when I punched out that Homeland Security guy, I punched out a civilian. –Union Square Park Overheard by: Ksenia Eight-year-old boy: I dare you to fight in the civil war! –7 Train

Wednesday One-Liner's Last Dance with Mary Jane

Professor: We will talk about the JDC–the American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee. And no, they were not dispensing marijuana. –Queens College Overheard by: ShaniP Trashy JAP on cell: So I told her I was selling, and that bitch was like, "Katrina, for how much?" And I was like "Oh my god, mom, it doesn't matter how much the weed is going for, all that matters is the quality!" –7th Ave, Park Slope Overheard by: penelope Random stranger to teens: You want to buy some weed? Just come back to my mom's house! –Union Square Overheard by: Rhian College student on cell: Mom, you've got to stop smoking so much weed. I mean, fuck! –Time Square Random dude on street: I got it all! Liquor, alcohol, marijuana, Chips Ahoy! I got it! –44th & Broadway Overheard by: Lagster Street vendor: Prada bags, Louis Vuitton bags, Gucci bags, marijuana bags… (everyone looks over at him) Hey, I gotta make money somehow. –Times Square Overheard by: mary jane

Why Is This Girl Riding the Subway?

JAP: Oh my god, I can’t wait to move into the city. I can’t take my house anymore, my parents are always up my ass. Gabby, what time will you be home? Gabby, don’t forget to tell Rosa to pick up your dry cleaning! Gabby, we’re paying your tuition, you can’t treat this house like a hotel! It’s so annoying! I just wanna be on my own, I can take care of myself, I don’t need them constantly doing stuff for me!
Friend: Yeah… So where were you thinking of moving?
JAP: I dunno, my dad said he might let me move into his apartment on 89th. Either that, or a partner at his firm is selling a co-op that he might buy for me. He said I can choose. –Uptown W train

Enough to Be Greedy, but Not Enough to Feel Guilty about It

Chick #1: Sometimes I wonder if my Jewishness has more to do with living in New York.
Chick #2: I totally know what you mean. Like, how Jewish would we be in California? –7th St, between 1st & Ave A Headline by: Kevin Runners-Up:
· “Fantastic Goyage” – j3rry
· “I Think More Than Madonna, Less Than Jesus” – alex gherardi
· “Like, Do These Tefillin, Like, Make My Wig Look Fat?” – Herbie McHebrew
· “Putting the El-Al in LA” – kerm
· “We Still Wouldn’t Swallow, but We’d Spit Cooler” – RaindanceRichard
Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Wednesday One-liners, American Idols

Tourist: Oh my god! That’s Maggie Gyllenhaal. She’s like, actually walking down the street! –Magnolia Bakery Overheard by: Jessica Blackshear JAP: Do not mention that freaking African queen and her recycled husband! –The Prime Grill, 49th Street Twentysomething woman on cell: I’m gonna be late because I had to walk Drew Barrymore’s dog. –in front of American Apparel, 7th Ave