Archive for the ‘JAPs’ Category

Wednesday One-Liner, Huh! What Is It Good For?

JAP on cell: If more people wore glitter there would no war.

–Therapy Store

Crazy old guy: I want a dog for president. You know why? Dogs don't start wars.

–31St & Ditmars, Astoria

Overheard by: Randi and Patrick

(at an anti-war rally)
Street vendor
: Say no to war, say yes to Louis Vuitton!


–Midtown

Overheard by: Oh the irony

50-something guy on cell: You see, we are a military agency, not a government agency. (pause) So when I punched out that Homeland Security guy, I punched out a civilian.

–Union Square Park

Overheard by: Ksenia

Eight-year-old boy: I dare you to fight in the civil war!

–7 Train

Greetings from the Freak Borough

JAP on cell: Yeah, he’s cute, but he’s from Staten Island!…Ever see that show on MTV, True Life: I’m Getting Married? Yeah, that guy was such trash, and everyone out there is like that! –Port Authority Overheard by: Rebecca Dash

Dogs: We’d Trade Her for Timmy in a Fucking Heartbeat

Bike messenger, at a trio of small dogs barking at him: What is it boy? There was an accident at the old saw mill? Timmy’s been hurt?
JAP walking dogs, angrily: Did I say you could talk to my fucking dogs? Get the fuck away from my dogs! [to dogs] I’m sorry, sweet babies. Did the crazy poor person scare you? My poor sweet babies.

–Lincoln Square

Overheard by: adrift midwestern hipster

Why Is This Girl Riding the Subway?

JAP: Oh my god, I can’t wait to move into the city. I can’t take my house anymore, my parents are always up my ass. Gabby, what time will you be home? Gabby, don’t forget to tell Rosa to pick up your dry cleaning! Gabby, we’re paying your tuition, you can’t treat this house like a hotel! It’s so annoying! I just wanna be on my own, I can take care of myself, I don’t need them constantly doing stuff for me!
Friend: Yeah… So where were you thinking of moving?
JAP: I dunno, my dad said he might let me move into his apartment on 89th. Either that, or a partner at his firm is selling a co-op that he might buy for me. He said I can choose.

–Uptown W train