JAP #1: I hate when people use the word “do.”
JAP #2: (stares)
JAP #1: Like wrong.
–The Quad Cinema
Overheard by: selface
Archive for the ‘JAPs’ Category
…Just Throw a Sweater Over That “Go Palestine!” T-Shirt
Female coworker: I just don't think I'm looking in the right places to meet guys.
Jappy coworker: Just get a group of girls together, and go to services at B'nai Jeshurun, I hear it's a meat market on Shabbat.
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: Melissa
But I Was Going to Take You to a Comedy Show!
Comedy guy promoter to young JAP: Comedy show! Comedy show! Hey, do you like comedy?
Young JAP: Um… no.
Comedy guy: Come on, they're funny… just come!
Young JAP: Umm… no.
Comedy guy: Fine, don't come. But do you like tall skinny white men? Wanna go on a date?
Young JAP: Again: umm… no.
–14th St & Broadway
Headline by: Kelly Combs
Runners-Up:
· “Feigned Hesitation Is the Cruelest Of the Sarcastic Arts” – Aaron
· “How About Puppies? Everyone Likes Puppies!” – CJ
· “JAP Has No Sense Of Humor, Film at 11″ – samson
· “She Actually Just Has a Rare Form Of Tourettes…” – Molly
· “What About Money?! I Bet You Like That!” – Zak Santucci
Click here to see the new Headline Contest
For Shezzle?
Jappy yeshiva girl #1: So I really wanted those boots, but I couldn't find them online for less than $190, but then I found them for $110, so I just bought them and told my nana to just take $100 out of my allowance. But she was like, “no, it's okay.”
Jappy yeshiva girl #2: That's so nice.
Jappy yeshiva girl #1: I know, and I was like, “but nana, you said the market was really bad right now!”
Jappy yeshiva girl #2: What does your nana do?
Jappy yeshiva girl #1: She embezzles.
–Starbucks, 29th & Park Ave
Overheard by: little barista in the big city
Human Rights Come First, Pal
PETA representative: Excuse me, ma'am, do you have a minute for animal rights?
NYU JAP: I'm wearing leather boots. Do I look like I give a shit about animal rights?
Panhandler: (applauds)
NYU JAP: (gives panhandler a quarter)
–8th & University
Overheard by: byron
Like When I Wrote That Novel, Of Small Rodents and Homo Sapiens
JAP #1: Oh my gawd, I have so many papers to write for school!
JAP #2: My friend is going to Parsons. She's not even that talented.
JAP #1: I'm so bad at writing papers. You know what I do? I find something someone else said. Something that I like…and then I just change the words.
–R Train
I've Taken Giggling and Flirting About As Far As They'll Go
Pretty orthodox Jewish girl #1: Man, if I wasn't religious, I would be such a slut.
Pretty orthodox Jewish girl #2: I hear ya.
–Kings County Hospital
Overheard by: awesome sauce
And Their Hit Song “Wash with Like Colors”
Jappy tween talking to girl with BCBG shirt: Oh my god, that shirt is so cool!
Jappy tween with BCBG shirt: I know, I love that band!
–Union Square
Overheard by: ticked off AC/DC fan
Translation: Nobody's Texting Me
Jappy girl #1: Oh god! I just got a text from Jason. I want to write back something very biting and sarcastic. What about “shouldn't you be with your girlfriend right now?”
Jappy girl #2: (silent)
Jappy girl #1: Too much?
Jappy girl #2: I don't care.
–7th St & Ave A
Overheard by: gregor
Who Needs Performance Art When You Have Hobos?
Hobo sitting on bench: Hey man, wanna buy some soap?
Yuppie: Nah… (walks away)
Hobo: Ma'am, would you care for some shoes?
JAP: Hell, naw. (walks away)
Hobo: Hey fella, want to buy some peanut butter?
Old Asian guy, happily: Yes, please!
Hobo: I'm sorry, brother, I don't have any on me. I just wanted to do some product research for a project I'm doing. (pulls out a roll of toilet paper and a sharpie, rips out one square of toilet paper, and writes “peanut butter”)
–23rd St