Yuppie: You’re such a third-generation American Jew. — Upper West Side
Girl #1: Hey are you going to go see The Da Vinci Code?
Girl #2: Yes! My pastor said it was alright as long as I watched The Passion of the Christ right after. –Midwood High School Overheard by: the half jewish kid in the corner
Asian chick #1: The thing is, he’s a Jewish guy? And like, ya know, a lot of Jewish guys are in to Asian girls?
Asian chick #2: Yeah?
Asian chick #1: Yeah. I think it’s like because, like, both cultures are so, like, into family? Like Jews are really into family and Asians are really into family?
Asian chick #2: Yeah.
Asian chick #1: But also? I think he kind of has an Asian fetish?
Asian chick #2: I hate that.
Asian chick #1: Yeah. He’s like…ya know. A nerdy Jewish guy who likes to date Asian girls?
Asian chick #2: Yeah.
Asian chick #1: Yeah, but he’s really cute in that way that he’s nerdy but he loves Asian girls?
Asian chick #2: Yeah. –N/R 8th street station
Jewish chick #1: You know, it's kind of awkward to register for sheets for a wedding.
Jewish chick #2: Really? Why?
Jewish chick #1: Because, it's like, they know what you're doing!
–84th St & Central Park West
Suit #1: No sir, the kids don’t have school off tomorrow. You believe that?
Suit #2: Wait, the Catholic Schools don’t close for the Jewish holidays? You’re kidding me! –Elevator, Park & 33rd Overheard by: Nick Jezarian
Professor: So, when we last left the Jews they were suffering. But, then, we can take that for granted.
–Stern Building, NYU
Overheard by: Jayso
Woman to queer: … All the Jews I’ve ever seen have had the most marvelous penises.
–E 4th St & 2nd Ave
Drunk girl looking at Jewish frat boy: Wearing a kippah is like wearing a cage around your penis.
–Frat party, Columbia
Overheard by: I never go to frats bc…..
Long Island girl: Wait… What is Friday Night Lights? Is that a movie about Shabbat?!
Guy: I’m like Jewish, but I’m not. I look Jewish.
Girl #1: Yeah, this one time we were at a diner and he was like, “What can I get for $3?”
Girl #2: So, that’s why you assumed…
Girl #1: Yeah, he’s so Jewish. –1 train Overheard by: Alix
Rabbi: So, what was the best part of your week?
College Jew: Hmmm… I guess reading for three hours in the library.
Rabbi: Oh? What did you read about?
College Jew: Hitler.
Overheard by: YJD
A Gentile Yuppie: I once dated a Rabbi’s daughter, in the Hamptons. I went to a family barbeque, and he asked me, ‘Do you want cheese on your hamburger?’ and I thought, ‘Ah–this is a moment of truth–one of those key moments in a relationship, where the family will judge me–what should I say?’ and I said, ‘Yes, I would’–and then the Rabbi responded, ‘Great! Then Cheese for Everybody!'” — Bar Tabac, Boerum Hill, Brooklyn
Man: I am concerned about breeding.
Man: Yeah, you know — Jews are pretty inbred. I’m probably going to have kids with three fingers or something. I should have married someone into running — big and athletic.
–Central Park Reservoir
Headline by: Brooklyn Twang
· “But Jews Do Run. They Run Everything.” – Rottin’ in Denmark
· “Instead Of That Gimp Cousin Of Mine” – Uberjim
· “The E in EHarmony Stands for Eugenics” – quazarfreez
· “The Final Solution 2.0″ – Scott Gresham
· “They’re Called Germans: But They May Not Be So Into That…” – Caitorade
· “You Know, Someone Who Could Win a “Master Race”” – Mike T
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