Archive for the ‘Jews’ Category

Thank Goodness I Had This Envelope to Blow My Nose On!

Small Jewish woman on the phone: Hey, so sorry, I'm running late. I'm just leaving my house now. I woke up with a horrible cold…
Post office worker: Miss?
Small Jewish woman on the phone: Oh wait… It's my turn… I'm actually in line at the post office… Oh and when I see you, absolutely no hugs, I am very contagious! –Post Office, London Terrace Overheard by: wish I had a bottle of purel

Wednesday One-Liners Hope You’re Not a Cop

Man on cell: After I dropped Benny off at school I stopped by that harem. –5th Ave, Brooklyn Overheard by: Nerd Old bald guy looking at Asian call girl section in newspaper, on cell, speaking very slowly and very loudly: Do… You… Take… Veee-saaaah. Veee-saaaah. Veeee-saaaaah! Yes! Visa! No? Okay, thanks. [Same exact dialogue takes place three more times.] Bingo! –Milford Hotel Overheard by: not an asian call girl Guy: I’m a good Jewish son -I got 90% off on a hooker! –Central Park Guy on cell: Man, I love hookers. My friend just told me about Craig’s list. Shit, there’s like 5,000 hookers on Craig’s list. I love that shit. –Fordham University Overheard by: who knew? Guido in leather jacket, to suit: So did anything ever happen with the whore? –39th & Broadway Overheard by: Ladle Asian girl to friend: As long as I’m slutting myself out, I might as well get paid for it! –22nd & 9th Overheard by: Kate