Tourist: Oh my god! That’s Maggie Gyllenhaal. She’s like, actually walking down the street! –Magnolia Bakery Overheard by: Jessica Blackshear JAP: Do not mention that freaking African queen and her recycled husband! –The Prime Grill, 49th Street Twentysomething woman on cell: I’m gonna be late because I had to walk Drew Barrymore’s dog. –in front of American Apparel, 7th Ave
Jewess: That’s the third time you mentioned Jews. What’s wrong with Jews?
Goy: They are demanding, confrontational, and have a hard time telling the truth. What religion are you, anyway?
Overheard by: J. Peter Jones
Middle-aged man, into his cell phone: It’s an oneg-shabbat. It’s just a big dinner where everyone can meet each other and talk. It’s only a few hundred dollars for you to sponsor it. [pause] Well, it’s really not a dinner. It’s just some fruit and plates for people to pick at. — Midtown
Gentile Yuppie: When I was in the synagogue, all of these girls kept on coming up to me and trying to pick me up–but they were all Jewish!
Young Yuppie: You’re such a third-generation American Jew. — 6th Avenue, West Village
Hipster Girl: Hipsterism was made for Jewish guys and Asian Girls. — Williamsburg
Guy: So you guys are Jewish?
Girl: Yeah, why?
Guy: Are you from Brooklyn? I live there now, and there are a lot of Jewish people there.
Girl: No, we’re from Staten Island.
Guy: Oh. Are there a lot of Jewish people there? –Finnerty’s, Union Square area Overheard by: Becka Dash
Four teenagers in a convertible at a stop-sign speaking about me as I cross the street right in front of them, in Vancouver: “Hey, he looks Jewish!”
Hasidic Jew: How much is this detergent?
Hasidic Jew: Never mind. I’ll put it back. –Rite-Aid, Bensonhurst
Asian Kid: The fucking Triads are on your tail, bitch. Run!
Hispanic Kid: Fuck that! The Latin Kings will pump lead into your asses.
Black Kid: Nah, the Bloods and Crips will beat you down.
Jewish Kid: Yo…Um…I’ll get my yarmulke peoples to smack you all, son. What now nigga spic chink bitch ho? Suck my matzoh balls, bitch! –Canal Street Overheard by: Jonathan Harris