Archive for the ‘JFK Airport’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Eat Boogers

Man on cell: It's a swollen, pus-filled sebaceous cyst… –Nathan's, West 32nd St Overheard by: SuzeV Chick leaving Duane Reade (exposing armpit): Air it out baby, air it out! –Duane Reade, 14th & 1st Overheard by: Lillian Guy to friends: I'm just gonna rub my shit all over her face. All over! –96th and Broadway Fat girl on cell: Oh my god, seriously. My mom is *so* nasty whenever we go out to eat somewhere. I'm not kidding. Like, she is *never* happy where we get seated, and she's like, "This silverware is smudgy! This glass has grit in it! The lighting is awful! The tectonic plates of this location are shifting, I demand a patio table!" I try to be as nice as I can to the wait staff to make up for her. Seriously. I've seen waiting. Please don't shave your asscrack hair into my food because my mom was a douchenozzle. –jet blue terminal, jfk Overheard by: now questioning my pizza ingredients Girl on cell: Yeah, you pretty much have the same body functions when you're dead as when you're alive. It's gross, but I love it. –Mercer b/w 3rd & 4th Overheard by: Threw up in my mouth a little bit

The Island of Dr. Wednesday One-Liners

Man on cell: Was there a lot of bleeding? [unintelligible reply] Well, was it four sheep or five? [reply] We have to find a way to separate the cows from the sheep. –Elevator, 56th & 8th Drunk girl, yelling: All I want is a llama! Another cocktail and a llama! –Terminal 5 Dude: So you’re enjoying acting, LA, monogamy, horses? –Cafe Esperanto Chick to friend: I don’t care how well you clean it, I am not doing shots out of that alligator! –TriBeCa Overheard by: lalala Swanky pin-stripe suit on cellphone: The little shit will definitely get approved. He’s as healthy as a French gay ox. –51st & 3rd Overheard by: IG Young black dude: You know the movie The Lion King? Yeah The Lion King! …You know, the one with all the tigers. –4 Train Overheard by: BQM lady Man: Manatees are the most peaceful creatures in the world… They get hit by motor boats! –Astor Place