Archive for the ‘Jocks’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Just Do It for the Endorphins

Mystified/amused pot dealer, as two jocks jog past him after sunset: They just runnin'! No cops, no robbers, no cowboys, no Indians, nothing blowin' up. They just runnin'! –Washington Square Park Overheard by: innocent bystander Dad to three-year-old boy learning to how to swing: Well, maybe if you were in better shape, this would be easy for you. You need to work on your abdominals. –Rckefeller Park Overheard by: Maria White buff guy, during spin class: I need to do some serious laundry, so I only had the one clean towel. If ya can't get one, I can always just give you mine and do my usual air dry jumping jacks for the insane amount of fems they have in the locker room over there. But apparently I have a bad-case-of-gay-face, because they look at me like a fat kid in front of the tasty delight window. –29th St & Lexington Overheard by: Lace Suit to another: I wish I could bench press the sins of the world! –74th St & Broadway Girl in short skirt and stilettos: Did we just power-strut too far? –PATH

Wednesday One-Liners Bring Their B Game

Sketchy guy to hot girl: Hey, baby girl, I like takin' long walks through the projects, sittin' on a park bench eatin' French fries… (she walks away) Hey baby, come back! –Christopher & 7th Guy to girl walking down the street: Hey you…I wanna get on your bus. –125th b/w Park & Lexington Overheard by: Reilly Big dude to hot girl: Hey girl, come talk to me for a minute. (she stays still) C'mon girl, chubby thugs need love too. –Franklin Ave & Eastern Parkway, Brooklyn Black thug to white girls: I'm Barack Obama's cousin, wanna go on a date? (they pass) That's gonna be my new pickup line, yo. –33rd St & 6th Ave Guy, as a curvy woman struts past him: Shake what yo momma gave you…not what yo momma paid for! –Shuttle Train Overheard by: Meredith Seton Hall jock, leering at female in next seat: Wow, this ticket has more holes in it than I've ever seen before! –NJ Transit Drunk guy to girl on subway platform, after Yankees game: I'm a classy guy! I will take you to the fucking Radisson! –Yankee Stadium Subway Platform

One Pill Makes You Wednesday and One Pill Makes You One-Liners

Young hipster to friend: Remember when we sat there, I was high on Vicodin and we saw that guy take a shit in the fountain? –Union Square Greenmarket Rich woman yelling on phone: I don't care about your stupid laws or ethics or whatever. (pause) No, I pay you too much money not to get the goddamn drugs I want. (pause) Just write the fucking prescriptions and send them! What the fuck kind of drug dealing doctor are you? –Metro North Train Loud lady on cell on escalator: I'm on all these medications you're not supposed to be on when you're pregnant! –Barnes & Noble Overheard by: Visiting Kiran Jock: Nothing's as bad as being allergic to Viagra, man! –NYU Bus Lady of indeterminate age: A craving is just a thought on steroids. –26th st & 8th Ave Overheard by: Lucky Gunther Obese woman to male friend: I need to get some Viagra from my dad. –17th St & 8th Ave

Wednesday One-Liners Are So Hot Right Now

Big muscular man on cell: It's so damn hot, I'm glad I'm not wearing makeup. –Outside Tribeca Deli Overheard by: Akiko Conductor: This is 42nd Street, Times Square. Number 3 train across the platform. Get it while it's hot! –Downtown 1 Train Elderly black woman to no one in particular: It's so hot my pussy is melting! –12th & Broadway Overheard by: lemchek Enthusiastic girl: As soon as I saw his name in lights! His name is so hot! So I have to marry him! –Thompson & W 3rd St Guy: I'm telling ya that it was so damn hot in there that my balls rolled out from under my towel and fell on the floor… like they was trying to escape or something. –Starbucks Dude to friend: I wanna say she's hot… But I mean she looks like the type of girl who accepts Discover. –The Village