Archive for the ‘Judaism’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Get Some Pussy

Knitting girl: Don't let your drunk girlfriend name your cat, because eventually you will break up with her and then you'll have a cat with a stupid name.

–The Point Knitting Cafe

Overheard by: Heather

Woman coming out of restroom, holding a bottle of liquid soap: You gotta keep the cat clean!

–NYU Hospital

Overheard by: A nurse who wish she wasn't sometimes!!

Female tourist, to herself: There are nine ways to skin a cat, and I know all of them.

–23rd & 8th

Man to woman, arguing: Fuck you, Nina, that's the point. You're not taking my cat!

–Central Park

Old man to friend, during lunch: I don't like cats' attitudes. Unlike dogs, they can be so aloof. Especially to Jews…

–Deli, 1st Ave

Overheard by: Allison

‘I’ Before ‘E’, Except After ‘C’, or in Wednesday One-Liners

Guy on cell: Yeah, it’s weird, it feels like I’m still alive.

–W 8th & Broadway

Guy: I still think surprise necrophilia is weird.

–Robert Louis Stevenson School

Overheard by: Lucas

Man to woman companion: I hate single people. They’re all weird.

–90th b/w 2nd & 3rd

Man on cell: February is a weird month for Jews.

–9th St. and 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Hannah

Trader Joe’s employee to another: No, I would not call her weird. It takes a lot for me to call somebody else weird because I am not the most normal person on the planet myself. Meow!

–Trader Joe’s, Union Square

Overheard by: Ingwall

Observant girl: Just because you get weird haircuts doesn’t mean you’re smart.

–Bowery & Rivington

Wednesday One-Liners Clutch Their Fannypacks

Tourist: What’s that entrance right over there… Where it says, ‘Exit’?

–Museum of Natural History

Overheard by: Ms. Dubs

Man to wife and children: I don’t know why you’re following me! I have no clue where I’m going!

–Rockefeller Center

Drunk male tourist: What time does Times Square close?

–Outside Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: Genissimo

Southern tourist dad: ‘Papa Yaking’? What in the hell kinda crazy Jewish name is that?

–14th & 7th

Overheard by: Manhattman

Fat Southern lady with teal leggings standing beside fat man with large rodeo belt buckle and USS Nimitz hat to security guard: We’re tourists…

–MoMA

Overheard by: Daniel B