Archive for the ‘Judaism’ Category

Hey, Bra, Check Out These Sweet Wednesday One-Liners

Frat boy: That is the last time I am *ever* jacking off to gay porn. –Gristedes, 42nd St Overheard by: …while sober or drunk? Frat boy to another frat boy staring intently at a young woman dressed as a Hogwarts student: I am really drunk! –14th St & University Place Midwest frat dude: The ugliest girls in New York City are like the hottest girls I've ever seen! –St.Marks & 3rd Ave Overheard by: slohmie Frat boy: Dude, I'm not hating -I love gay guys. All I'm saying is -they buy a lot of Kosher wine. –23rd St & 7th Ave Overheard by: Dina Frat boy: We've had sex everywhere… In cars, in public places…I've seen her vagina more times than I've seen my mother's! –Wagner College

The JDating Of Wednesday One-Liners

JAP girl on line: Why would I be boogieing at temple? –H&M Overheard by: Sandjiggie Redhead JAP: It's too bright, I can't hear you… –41st & 3rd JAP: Is saving the whales still, like, a thing? –F Train 20-something JAP on cell: I mean: I don't want to say that I live in a bubble, but the only people I've spoken to in the last week and a half are you and my doorman. –42nd St & Lexington Overheard by: Pete

Have a Happy Kwanzaakkah!

Waiter: Hey, wassup? I’m Sean. What’s your name?
Girl: Rebecca. Nice to meet you.
Waiter: And you, man?
Guy: Kwanzaa.
Waiter: Hey, by any change you are mixed with Jewish?
Guy: Er, no, everything but.
Waiter: Well…’cause, you know, I’m Jewish.
Guy: …Okay.
Waiter: Uh, ’cause you know, Kwanzaa’s a Jewish Holiday?
Girl: It is? Wow, I didn’t know that. –Diner 24, 8th Avenue Overheard by: enkie

Sure, Lisa, Some Magical Wednesday One-Liner….

Dude with chick to group of smokers outside bar: We are going to eat pork chops and fuck. –Bleecker and Crosby Gay male on cell: …Do you really think I would try his sausage balls? –53rd St & 8th Ave Budget Vin Diesel: I love bacon. If I could, I would put bacon in my cereal. –Sunburnt Cow, Avenue C Overheard by: LeahPia77 Hispanic deli worker: Es muy barato, como la carne de gato. –10th & Broadway Overheard by: Anna Pilar Black man, to Jewish friend: You’re not Jewish. You had bacon at your baby’s naming ceremony. Thickest, juiciest most delicious bacon I ever ate in my life. You named your kid Samuel and you had bacon. Delicious, delicious bacon. –A Train Man on cell phone: The sausages! I mean, I don’t feel bad for the hot dogs. But, the sausages?! –41st and 7th Overheard by: Justin

You'd Think People Of Mediterranean Descent Would All Get Along Swimmingly

Guido: Excuse me, miss? Miss? Have I seen you in my church?
20-something girl: No.
Guido: No, no, I definitely saw you in my church. We go to the same one.
20-something girl, sighing: Sir… If I went to any house of worship, it'd be a synagogue. And I stay as far away from those as possible. Have a nice day now.
Guido: Aaaaawww, I liiike you! –82nd & Broadway