Archive for the ‘K-I-S-S-I-N-G’ Category

The DVDA is Probably Good for the Guys, At Least

Teen girl #1: …he like kissed me and never called!
Teen girl #2: Shit
Teen girl #1: My mother always say to me, “You gotta have a back up, you gotta have a back up!”
Teen girl #2: Yo.
Teen girl #1: But look at her, she like fuckin’ four guys at the same time, and it don’t do her no good. –Port Authority Overheard by: Hairy Toe

Wednesdays Wonder How Much Their One-Liners Would Bring on the Open Market

Serious 40-something man to five-year-old girl: So why do I always have to be the one to buy dinner?

–8th Ave & 44th St

Overheard by: Dean

Mother to toddler: Why you always gotta sing Barney? Always Barney! You are so annoying! I'm sick of Barney.

–1 Train

Middle-aged Jewish man to eleven-year-old girl: But I don't think you have to worry about that, Talia, because there are very few Zoroastrians around these days.

–93rd & Broadway

Ghetto father making out with ghetto girl, to two-year-old tugging at his jeans: Nigga, stop cock-blockin me!

–Fordham Road

Overheard by: Laura

Angry mom to eight-year-old son: When I find that brick, you're in big trouble!

–Kane St & Clinton St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Phycobilins

Emphatic mom to child holding her hand: You've gotta hold my hand! I'm forty-six years old and I still hold my mommy's hand! I'm forty-six years old! So you've gotta hold my hand!

–50th & 9th

Overheard by: Christiana Little

Open-Mouth Wednesday One-Liners

Conductor: This is your conductor reminding you to beware of pickpockets. Keep your bags in sight, your wallets in your pocket, stay alert, and remember to kiss.

–5 express train

Overheard by: Ben Arwin

Guy to girl: I’m not going to kiss you, ’cause remember — last time we kissed was before you went to jail.

–O’Connor’s, Bergen St & 5th Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Joe

Drunk guy: I didn’t kiss your boobs, I kissed your chest. There’s a difference!

–49th & 1st

Guido: I’m not prejudiced against fat chicks. I would love to fuck a fatty tonight… I just won’t kiss her.

–Outside McFatty’s

Overheard by: Liz

Five-year-old girl: Before we leave, I’m going to kiss a boy and get married later.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Daveyy

Guys: Lucky Thirteen

Tall B&T girl: So then we made out and were all over each other and it was all PDA, and then we lost our virginities to each other. And I felt guilty because I was, like, 18, and he was, like, a minor.
Short B&T girl: Well how old was he?
Tall B&T girl: (silence)
Short B&T girl: Come on, most guys are like 15 when they lose their virginity.
Tall B&T girl: He was thirteen.
Short B&T girl: Oh.

–75th & Broadway

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Dude, Nobody Listens to The Wednesday One-Liners Anymore

Young woman on cell: So I said to him, are you going to listen to Barbra Streisand forever?

–Christopher & Bleecker

Overheard by: Korky

20-something girl: I'm a teenager! I collect pogs and say "suck it," and listen to Kriss Kross!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Claire H.

Guy: Man, these guys are like The Beatles of my generation.

–In Line for Cypress Hill Show, Nokia Theatre

Burly MTA contractor: I mean imagine if it was a dude singing "I kissed a guy and I liked it."

–Chambers St Subway Station

Overheard by: sarah

Trendy girl: I can't believe they charge $1.29 for a song now. What song is worth $1.29?!? Well, I guess "Don't Stop Believing" and "We Are the Champions"… basically any Queen song.

–Coldstone Creamery, Astor Place

Overheard by: Any Britney Song

20-something girl to 20-something boyfriend: Don't dress up like Elton John because I want you to. Dress up like Elton John because you want to.

–Halloween Shop, 11th St & Broadway