Archive for the ‘Kids’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Want You to Know About the Size of Their Bank Accounts

Yuppie on cell (trying to be discreet): Hey mom. Are you busy? Could you Google Maps me? I'm on Houston and West Broadway. Yeah, I didn't want to ask anyone for directions and make a fool of myself. Although I'm pretty sure I just did, because half of this coffee shop is looking at me now. –W Houston Overheard by: Let's face it, we were all new at one point. 40-something yuppie woman: And then I realized that my biggest problem in life is that most of the time I'm incredibly happy, but I'm not aware of how happy I am. –81st & Madison Yuppie dad to seven-year-old daughter: Now when you start buying iPods, that's when you're going to want to have a Visa card. –Stanton & Christie Overheard by: Ross Three-year-old yuppie spawn: Noooooooooooo! I don't want Pad Thai! I want sushi! –Dice Thai, Prospect Park Overheard by: I'll take sushi too but you're payin', kid

Abstract Expressionist Wednesday One-Liners

Woman sitting in front of bar with friends: I approached motherhood like I approached my art… –9th St & Ave C Overheard by: Juliet Street artist to tourist: I don't have empathy, I paint empathy. –Soho Hipster arty type to another: She deserves to be roofied; her prints are horrible. –Pratt Institute Hipster to another, at Georgia O'Keefe exhibit: That's a lot of vaginas. –Whitney Museum Four-year-old boy to father, at 17th century furniture room: This place gives me the creeps! –Metropolitan Museum of Art Overheard by: Me too Mother to child: I seen that picture you did of that boy kissing that girl. (pause) Darren, your art shit is going far! –Times Square

Poserday One-Liners

Random hipster: If David Bowie had wheels, how much would you pay to ride on him? –St. Mark's Place Overheard by: haxromana Scrawny hipster dude to another: All I'm saying is: I want to be in a position where I'm not liking it, and I know he's not liking it either. –Troutman & Evergreen Overheard by: Kristen Hipster: I was much more desperate in Chicago. –6 Train Hipster kid: I'm just afraid that my sweatshirt isn't edgy enough. –SoundFix Records, Brooklyn Overheard by: chelce Teenager: He's having a hard time dealing with being a hipster. –Columbus Circle

So They Can’t Afford to Drink, Use Drugs, or Overeat

Bimbette #1, reading subway ad: ‘Sleeping with your baby is dangerous, especially if you drink, use drugs or are overweight.’ Hahaha!
Bimbette #2: I’m pretty sure sleeping with your baby is bad no matter what.
Bimbette #3: Except that in, like, every other country besides the United States everyone sleeps on the floor, like, on their mat, with their baby next to them. –1 train Overheard by: inge