Asian Kid: The fucking Triads are on your tail, bitch. Run!
Hispanic Kid: Fuck that! The Latin Kings will pump lead into your asses.
Black Kid: Nah, the Bloods and Crips will beat you down.
Jewish Kid: Yo…Um…I’ll get my yarmulke peoples to smack you all, son. What now nigga spic chink bitch ho? Suck my matzoh balls, bitch!
–Canal Street
Overheard by: Jonathan Harris
Archive for the ‘Kids’ Category
Sage Advice
Urban Youth #1: I’m not Eric. I fight dirty.
Urban Youth #2: Why the fuck you wanna fight fair for? You know you’re gonna lose.
–D Train
Money’s Too Tight for Steak
Daughter: Mom, is beef steak?
Mother: No, steak is steak.
–Mexican restaurant, Floral Park
He Meant Auto-fellated
Girl: “Teleported.” That’s what he said.
Boy: What?
Girl: You know, teleporting.
Boy: Oh, okay, yeah.
Girl: He said he teleported himself, but it turned out he was lying!
Boy: Really?
–6 Train
Overheard by: Mary Phillips-Sandy
Illegal Chinese Fireworks
A two year old Chinese girl decided to squat on a manhole cover. Chinese Mom: What are you doing?! That will warm up your butt and it will burst into flames! –66th & Columbus Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Kids Say the Stupidest Things
A little boy sees his mom’s reflection in the window. Boy: Mommy, are you a ghost? –2 Train
CASE CLASED
Girl: When I was a kid my parents bought me everything I wanted.
Guy: Well yeah, you were really spoiled.
Girl: No, I was highly entertained.
Guy: You were spoiled. You got everything, right?
Girl: Yeah…
Guy: So you were spoiled.
Girl: You don’t understand. I didn’t cry or whine. My parents just bought me everything.
–N Train
…My Dad, too.
Two boys, both about 10, are thoroughly engrossed in their Game Boys.
First boy: My mother’s a lesbian.
Second boy: So is mine.
–#1 Train
Those Table-clearing Hooligans
Russian Lady: Oh no, he’s too gentle to be a teacher. He went there before and the kids did whatever they wanted. They took everything from the tables. –D Train
Naive Evian
12-year-old boy: I don’t know why people would pay $2 for a bottle of water. You know, EVIAN spelt backwards is N-A-I-V-E. – To his friend, in Prospect Park