Archive for the ‘Kids’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners: So Lifelike!

Girl: If I made a sex doll that smelled like elk, he would totally do it!

–Queens

Middle-aged Latino: I've got barbie dolls!

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: Confabulation Nation

Newspaper vendor: Cause I have that multiple sneezing thing! I hate that crap! I'm like a bobble-head doll!

–96th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: Galatea

Girl leaving nail salon: It looks like Malibu Barbie just threw up all over my feet.

–11th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Bill

Despondent little girl in coffee shop: Um, I don't play with the doll house that much because you said we're not supposed to play in the meditation room.

–Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn

Moist Wipes For All Escaping Religous Persecution

Little girl: Mommy, I’m hot. Can we swim in there?
Mom: No, sweetie. Everyone in New York poops in that river. –Ferry to Ellis Island
Headline by: agela abdullah
Runners-Up:
· “And Your Turn to Poop in it Isn’t Until February” – Ryan
· “Great, I Need to Top up my Tan!” – SpaceBee
· “I Hear the McDonald’s Pool in the Back is Nice This Time of Year” – Lifeguard Larry
· “Like the Backseat of Your Volvo, Mommy?” – Jeff
· “M. Night Shamalan’s Next Script Idea” – Bevan
· “That’s the New Definition of ‘Hipster.'” – Matthew K Johnson
· “The Statue of Liberty Isn’t Holding a Torch; She’s Lighting a Match.” – erak
· “Well, the Rich People Can Afford to Poop in Long Island Sound” – M.D.
· “Well, Yes. That’s Why I Asked.” – Greg

Click here to see the new Headline Contest