Archive for the ‘Kids’ Category

Do They Make a Glade Plug-In for Wednesday One-Liners?

Little girl, running along platform: Mommy! Mommy! Slow down! Mommy, it smells like penis in here! –Grand Central Girl to another: Do you have a hand wipe? I totally smell like rape right now. –44th St & Broadway Guy to friend: She said I smelled like shit and I said, "what like, asshole?" –59th St & Lexington Girl on phone: Your hands smell like what? Your hands smell like urine? Why would you say that? –Brooklyn College Hobo on overcrowded train: Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Homeless Ed, and I am homeless, and I smell like shit. If any of you can spare some change so I can buy some deodorant, it would be greatly appreciated. –Downtown A Train Overheard by: christopher james Female grad student on cell: Have you ever done the inter-borough walk of shame smelling like penis? –Columbia University Overheard by: Ladle Conductor: This is East Broadway station, and something smells yummy. –F Train

The Audacity Of Wednesday One-Liners

Black guy, cutting in front of line at movie theater: Excuse me, Barack Obama is President now. Thank you. –AMC Movie Theater Overheard by: Emmy Man with hand stuck in bus door to bus driver: We got a black President and you actin' like this? You civil service! –14D Bus Sketching Jamaican hobo: Obama is some kinda skateboard. –Shuttle to Times Square Subway hobo: How come Obama don't have sex with his wife no more? Because every time she opens her legs, he sees bush! –1 Train Man to toddler in his arms: That's Obama. He's gonna save us all from doom! From doom! –University & 12th St