Archive for the ‘Kids’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners in Smell-O-Vision

Hipster girl: I’d rather face the stigma of buying feminine hygiene products than face the stigma of having a stinky hoo-ha. –13th St & 5th Ave Overheard by: agreed Girl: Remember Diana? Stinky Diana? She’s back, and she’s getting married. –West 47th & 8th Ave Overheard by: Peter G Chick: If I’m going to play beer pong, I need to be fragrant. –Sammy’s, 11th St & 6th Ave Overheard by: McF Little boy to dad: I don’t want to go to Africa! I don’t want to smell the camels! –5th Ave & Park Pl, Park Slope Voice on intercom: The Children’s Section is closed due to… that smell. –NY Public Library, East 96th St Overheard by: Diane Chick: So, did you smell your toilet paper? –MoMA cafe Overheard by: Sweettart

Have You Seen Wednesday? It's Totally Had Its One-Liners Done.

Woman on cell: I can't believe no one said anything… How could no one notice? It used to be sooooo crooked, and I spend all this money to get my nose fixed, and no one says anything? –Norfolk & Houston 50-year-old lady: So are you still down for the Brazilian wax? –45th & Broadway Overheard by: Chuch Little girl, pointing at someone having their eyebrows threaded: Look! They're sewing that woman's face! –14th St & 2nd Ave Overheard by: kenzi Orange lady: Is it like you definitely, for sure get cancer from a tanning bed? Cause then I might stop. –Park Slope Overheard by: Alexis

Panda: “I Feel Somehow…Unfulfilled.”

Very little girl: Okay, this is not going to be minutes, this is not going to be seconds: where is the panda?
Dad, looking around outdoor enclosure: Um… Oh! There it is!
Very little girl, peering through fence: I can't see it!
Dad, lifting her just above fence: How's that?
Very little girl: Okay! Let's go! –Red Panda Habitat, Central Park Zoo Overheard by: Susan Volchok

Wednesday One-Liners Gave You Life

Nine-year-old girl: Trick or treat! If you don’t have any candy, you can give my mom some liquor! –Wine shop, Chelsea Overheard by: Catherynne Valente Cute chick on cell: Hello, Mom. I’m just calling to tell you I got a tattoo, and I’m telling you on your voicemail so I don’t have to hear any shit from you about it. Call me after you calm down. Bye. –Canal & Lafayette Overheard by: Big Larry Mom and nine-year-old daughter are walking hand-in-hand. Daughter, shrieking: No, Mommy, please don’t buy the razor! Anything but the razor, Mommy! –74th & Broadway Tween girl: My mother is probably going to shit on my head. –Broadway & 67th Overheard by: thaler Hipster NYU dude: She’s not my mother anymore. –14th St & 3rd Ave Overheard by: yamutha

Wednesday One-Liners?

Woman, picking up rubber ball, to employee: Oh, what can you do with this? –Scholastic Store, Soho Freshman girl: What do we, like, throw in the recycling bin? –Leon M. Goldstein High School Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman Woman, descending stairs onto train platform: Oh my god! Is that a train? –Penn Station Overheard by: curious to know what else she was expecting to see at a train station… Random tourist to young Asian kid: Do you sell fake bags? –Canal Street Station Astute shopper: Do you take Duane Reade cards here? –Duane Reade Overheard by: fellow customer Guy on cell: Bagels with butter? Where am I gonna get that? –Upper East Side Overheard by: sarahjane

I Never Told You About the Jar on My Desk?

Suit #1: Good thing my girlfriend had an abortion, or I’d have a 16-year-old kid right now.
Suit #2: Yeah? I never heard this story. –F Train Overheard by: wb Headline by: kasey Runners-Up:
· “Haven’t You Ever Asked About My Framed Coathanger?” – Ian
· “Jesus; Always the Son, Never the Father” – benny blanco
· “Lifetime Wasn’t Interested” – Emily Leonard
· “Neither Did My Wife…” – phox
· “Once Upon a Vacuum…” – blistexaddict
· “Well Jimmy, When a Man and Woman Like Sex Without Commitments….” – mkp-hearts-nyc
· “Your Wife Was Pretty Insistent I Never Tell You” – Greg Costello
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