Archive for the ‘Kids’ Category

Smart Genes? No, Those Are in the Wash Today.

Mother: Which side do we get out on?
12-Year-Old daughter: Whatever door opens, Mom.
Mother: Yeah, but both doors say they’ll open.
12-Year-Old daughter: Just get out on the side with the platform, Mom. –LIRR Overheard by: vick
Headline by: Spotty Muldoon
Runners-Up:
· “Dad Went to Harvard; Mom Went to Nassau Community” – bri b
· “God Never Closes a Door Without Confusing a Mother” – Eamon
· “Mind the Generation Gap” – d f
· “Must Be as Smart as This Door to Enter the City” – Amy Stephenson
· “Not a Throw Momma From The Train Fan” – John P.
· “The Other Side Is For the Tourists” – Andrea P
· “Twelve-Year-Old Finally Tells Mom Where to Get Off” – Vince Johnson
· “When She Was Pregnant, She Asked the Fetus Which Hole It Would Come Out Of” – janey
· “Wile E. Coyote Needed This Kind of Help” – DC Wonk

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Nobody Puts Wednesday One-Liner in the Corner!

Blonde white girl to another: And I was all like, "I'm not throwing the baby over the fence!"

–Spring St

Overheard by: Maria Emma

Girl to mother: Oh, look at daddy with the baby in one hand and the bottle of bourbon in the other. And in the morning, too!

–Williamsburg

Condom vendor: Obama and McCain election special condoms! 3 for $10 and 1 for $5, all cheaper than a baby!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Aalok

Mom with stroller to friend: She's incapacitated already, so she might as well have his baby.

–6th Ave & 4th St

M4M Wednesday One-Liners

Teenager: Do you know where the Gay Pride Parade is?… I’m not gay! –Astor Place Guy: And so, this one gay guy in your office was wearing these pants, and his fly was open and this straight guy could see his penis, or some shit like that, right? –9th St, Park Slope Queer on cell: You really think she’s into gay guys? –NYU Guy, pointing to gay hipster: That’s like “I like it in the bum” written in hair. –Peculier Pub, Bleecker St Overheard by: Mad Mom, to young son: It’s not a matter of being gay or not, darling. I just won’t let you participate in your school play. –Broadway Girl: Well, I couldn’t really sing the last part. We were both on our backs with our legs wide open. The only redeeming fact is that he was gay! –Corbin Plaza, Brighton Beach Overheard by: Anti-Traffic Girl Flamboyant tween boy: I hate health class! You know what I’m going to do in health class today? I’m going to tell the teacher I’m gay! And that I like to suck dick! –5th Ave, Park Slope

Seems He Wouldn’t Have a Problem with That

Girl: I’m just worried that she’s going to be scary. I mean, talk about Bible stories, but not the Devil, or going to hell. They’re 5 year olds.
Guy: I wouldn’t worry about that.
Girl: Just, you know, some Christians are crazy.
Guy: I’m more worried that they’ll want to be naked and she’ll be offended. –1 train Overheard by: Nadine