Archive for the ‘Knock-Offs’ Category

Wednesday One-Liner's Last Dance with Mary Jane

Professor: We will talk about the JDC–the American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee. And no, they were not dispensing marijuana. –Queens College Overheard by: ShaniP Trashy JAP on cell: So I told her I was selling, and that bitch was like, "Katrina, for how much?" And I was like "Oh my god, mom, it doesn't matter how much the weed is going for, all that matters is the quality!" –7th Ave, Park Slope Overheard by: penelope Random stranger to teens: You want to buy some weed? Just come back to my mom's house! –Union Square Overheard by: Rhian College student on cell: Mom, you've got to stop smoking so much weed. I mean, fuck! –Time Square Random dude on street: I got it all! Liquor, alcohol, marijuana, Chips Ahoy! I got it! –44th & Broadway Overheard by: Lagster Street vendor: Prada bags, Louis Vuitton bags, Gucci bags, marijuana bags… (everyone looks over at him) Hey, I gotta make money somehow. –Times Square Overheard by: mary jane

Wednesday One-Liners?

Woman, picking up rubber ball, to employee: Oh, what can you do with this? –Scholastic Store, Soho Freshman girl: What do we, like, throw in the recycling bin? –Leon M. Goldstein High School Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman Woman, descending stairs onto train platform: Oh my god! Is that a train? –Penn Station Overheard by: curious to know what else she was expecting to see at a train station… Random tourist to young Asian kid: Do you sell fake bags? –Canal Street Station Astute shopper: Do you take Duane Reade cards here? –Duane Reade Overheard by: fellow customer Guy on cell: Bagels with butter? Where am I gonna get that? –Upper East Side Overheard by: sarahjane

Those who Bootleg History Are Doomed to Profit From It

20-something Chinese guy: You know what? Chinese people discovered America.
20-something Black guy: Bullshit.
20-something Chinese guy: It’s true! There’s an article on CNN showing we discovered America, there are maps. Chinese were here first before everyone else. Chinese people did everything before everyone else. White people take credit for everything, but now it’s coming out that Chinese made all of these discoveries first. Don’t you see a pattern? We’re the shit.
20-something Black guy: The only pattern I see is that you motherfuckers pirate and resell every DVD, and now you’re trying to bootleg history. –Chinatown Overheard by: Ricky

Wednesday One-Liners Prefer “Gentleman Companion”

Teenage girl to friend: Boyfriends are so overrated, except not really because I really want one. –Lincoln Center Guy: I don't care if her new boyfriend is god–I will kick his ass! –Church St Overheard by: Steve Guy to friend: Yeah, she's in Jamaica. How fucked up is that? She's 20 and in Jamaica with her boyfriend. I'm 25 and I'm standing on a train next to you. –Metro-North Art student: I wanna write a diary, like, "8:45, kill boyfriend." –NYU Man on street selling knockoff perfume: C'mon ladies, buy this perfume. It will help you get a boyfriend! Don't get a cheap boyfriend, get some cheap perfume! –34th & 7th Overheard by: Kiran Girl to friend: From now on, I am only having sex with one boyfriend. –Marlow & Sons

Wednesday One-Liners Call It “Direct Marketing”

Guy selling city maps, singing to beat of nearby music: Who needs a map? Who needs a map? It's not a trap! –Central Park Ghetto guy selling knockoff perfumes on street: Don't ask me where I got em' from, just get em' before the police come. I got DKNY, my mami J.Lo… Get em' folks! Get em' –23rd & 6th Overheard by: Alli Street vendor to customer examining knockoff purses: Hurry it up. I need money. –Madison & 59th St Overheard by: Jennifer Wannabe hip hop artist: Y'all like hip hop? Please look at my CDs. Miss, you have a beautiful forehead. Please buy my CD. –Times Square Guy handing out fliers: Hey! You guys like vagina? –Times Square Overheard by: Brett

Wednesday One-Liners Are a Real Steal

Street vendor, yelling: Anyone need coach purses? Anyone need stolen shit? –Times Square Overheard by: Sarah and Andrew Black guy holding purses: Yo! Who wants to buy some stolen shit? I got some nice stolen shit over here. –Times Square Overheard by: A Little Too Intrigued Man selling bootleg designer bags: Anyone want some stolen shit? –45th St & Broadway Overheard by: Claire Yelling man peddling counterfeit purses: Get your stolen shit! Everyone needs some stolen shit! It's stolen in New York, so it still counts as being from New York! –Time Square Thug holding handbags: Who want some stolen shit? I'm not gonna lie in 2009. I got Dolce & Gabanna and Louis Vuitton. Who want some stolen shit? –Times Square