Archive for the ‘Knock-Offs’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Make Digital Records Of Their Humiliation

Stoned girl to tourists filming and photographing ads outside M&M store: It's an advertisement, people! –Times Square Overheard by: Alice Hot woman in suit to unsuspecting family buying a knock-off purse: Don't buy that shit, you stupid fucking tourists! –44th & 6th Ave Overheard by: would never buy that shit NYC punk to tourist bus: Hey, tourists! Welcome to New York! {short pause} Fuck you! –8th & Broadway Young thug to friend: Man, if I told you once, then I be telling you a million times. You from New York, fool. In New York, you don't be going giving no tourists directions! If they say, "where's the Empire State Building at?" you spit on them and walk the other way! Now don't you go make me be telling you again! I've had enough of you and yo' foolish ways. (couple wearing "I (heart) New York" t-shirts inch away nervously) –Union Square Overheard by: Glad I had a map Suit with southern accent: Nah! That library has too many tourists. –51 & Lexington Overheard by: Miriam

You Want Wednesday One-Liners? We Got 'em!

Man handing out New York Post: New York Post! If you're illiterate, only 75 cents! If you only lookin at pictures, 50 cents! –6th Ave & W 8th St Overheard by: lady v Man selling cotton candy: Get your cotton candy here! Cotton candy! I got your all-natural blue fibers of sugar right here! Straight from the blue cotton fields of…Virginia! Cotton candy, here! –Shea Stadium Street perfume seller to browser: You like Vera Wang, princess? This is genuine Wang. –34th & 6th Overheard by: Weary Communter Street vendor: Hey, where are you ladies from? (two teenage girls walk by) Oh, that's cool, that's cool, I think I have a friend that lives there! –7th & 40th Overheard by: Tiffany AM New York guy: Sir, would you like a paper this morning? No? No? (shakes head and looks at the ground) I don't care. (pause) It's okay, I don't care. –145th & St. Nich Overheard by: sorry charlie Fake purse salesman: Gucci makes the coochie go woo woo! –Times Square

Hates Any Group Whose Stereotype Is Smarter Than Her Own

NYC woman: We’re here!
Southern tourist bimbo: Laura, I thought we were here to get cheap fake purses?
NYC woman: We are — this is Chinatown.
Southern tourist bimbo: Why are there so many Chinese people?
NYC woman, slowly: This is Chinatown…
Southern tourist bimbo: Laura! You know I hate Chinese people! –Canal St Overheard by: The Wizard