Archive for the ‘Koreans’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Giggle and Snort

Nerdy serious white guy: See, that's what's great about going to Afghanistan. I'm no good at talking to women.

–N Train

Overheard by: annearchist

Nerd walking into archaeology class from noisy hallway: Do you hear the roman legion?

–Hunter College

Nerdy guy on cell: Yeah, she's an exhibitionist. She needs to be punished, but who's going to do it?

–JCPenny

Geeky Korean kid outside high school: I'm not really bad. I'm, like, medium-bad. You know, like, bad… But still good.

–Flushing, Queens

Overheard by: Samantha

Nerd to another: Your entire belief system is based on the rotundity of Darth Vader… That is a farce.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Nicole

Ni Hao, Wednesday One-Liners!

Korean girl to white guy: Why do you find it necessary to squint your eyes when you do an Asian impression?

–L Train

Overheard by: john.ainley

White girl to friends: And then a ninjician pulled a chopstick out of her ear!

–Veniero's Pastry Shop

Overheard by: Amy

Asian chick: Asians are obsessed with analyzing poop.

–Max Restaurant, Tribeca

Overheard by: Shringle

Woman begging for change: Can I get some quarters? (pause) My cousin-in-law is Chinese. Come on!

–52nd & Lexington

Overheard by: NMT

Asian woman, after sneezing: Just cuz I'm a sneezin' Asian don't mean I got SARS.

–Port Authority Bus Terminal

Overheard by: CNaughty

White girl on cell: Okay, I'm going to sound crazy, but there's this Asian guy in one of my classes…and he looks just like Ashley…and I just want to run up and say "Can I take a picture of you? Because you look just like my black girlfriend!"

–Dorm Building, Cooper Union

You Guys Are Becoming Chinks in My Armor

Construction worker #1: This place is expensive.
Construction worker #2: Ca-ching.
Korean store owner: I'm not fucking Chinese.
Construction worker #2: It's the cash register sound.
Korean store owner: I don't care, I'm not fucking Chinese, get out of my store.

–Canal & West Broadway

Overheard by: also not chinese

Wednesday One-Liners With Leather Patches on Their Elbows

Professor, matter of factly: In next week’s film you will see a cock. And it will ejaculate. I hope that’s okay with you all.

–Cantor Film Center, NYU

Professor: I guess I can’t trust you guys to write papers on something scandalous. Good thing I brought a pornographic film for later.

–Manhattan Campus, Pratt Institute

Overheard by: Norma Desmond

Contracts professor: So do you think Paris Hilton is a sucker?

–Brooklyn Law School

Professor to class, as he writes on board: …Moro Islamic Liberation Front, known for its acronym. [A few students get it and laugh.]

–Fordham University, Rose Hill

Overheard by: Krisztina one of the first to laugh

Professor: On this index card I’d like you all to write your name and major, as well as your career fantasies. I say career fantasies because when you graduate I’ll see you paying off your loans working at the kwik-e-mart.

–St. John’s University

Overheard by: Erum

Korean professor: Here’s how you calculate the intercept shit…

–NYU

English professor: You will find that English critical theory is the key to understanding not only literary perspectives, but also everything on YouTube.

–Fordham University

Overheard by: sromeo

The Part Where They Have Manners?

Latina chick, in Spanish, after Korean tourist trips into her: Listen, you son of a bitch — don’t touch me, you faggot! You get me, asshole?!
Friend: Haha, babe, like this asshole understands what you’re saying?
Korean tourist, in Spanish: I lived in Puerto Rico for two years.
Latina chick, in English: Oh, word? What part?

–A train

Overheard by: Graham Davis