Drunk white man: Hey, sir. “Knish” is spelled wrong.
Indian cashier: What?
Drunk white man: The food behind the case here. You spelled “knish” wrong, and I’ve told you guys before and it still hasn’t been fixed. Look, buddy, I’ve come in here ten times in the last week. I’ve told three other employees that the spelling is wrong, and next time I come in here it better be spelled right or the Jews are gonna come kill you.
Drunk white man storms out.
Indian cashier: That man is fucking crazy. It’s knish. Is it even spelled wrong?
Woman: No. He just forgot to take his meds and now the Jews are gonna come and kill you. And by “the Jews” he means himself.
–Organic food store, 19th & 3rd
Overheard by: Boo Radley
Archive for the ‘Kosher food’ Category
“Get the halal out of here!”
Tween boy #1: Fine, fine. I’ll buy you a BLT. How ’bout that?
Tween boy #2: A BLT? I’m Jewish, you idiot.
Tween boy #1: Oh, whatever. I see you eat a BLT every day, liar.
–64th & Park
Overheard by: Andrea C.
Then You Should Be Monitoring Yankee Stadium
Russian counterlady: You want coffee?
Mexican guy: No coffee. Juice.
Russian counterlady: What?
Mexican guy: Please…juice?
Russian counterlady: Here we are all juice.
–Midwood Kosher bakery
Overheard by: Sophia Naess
“I’m sorry, ma’am, you’re retarded.”
Woman: I’d like to order a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich.
Cashier lady: I’m sorry, ma’am, we’re kosher.
Woman: Oh OK, then make it a sausage, egg, and cheese.
–Nathan’s, LaGuardia
I’m Sure Someone At Pride Could Help You
A Kosher Deli has a neon sign in the shape of a sky-line.
Guy: What’s with all the phalluses?
Girl: That’s Jeruselum. They’re church towers or something.
Guy: Oh…is “phalluses” the right way to make that plural?
–Broadway & 32nd
Looks Like Someone Gets Around
Man on cell: I would fucking marry the girl, if it wasn’t for every time I went down on her she tasted like hummus.
–3rd Ave. & 11th St.