Stylish woman: Oh my god! This corn flan is amazing. It’s corn…but it’s flan…I can’t even begin to describe it. –North Square, Waverly Place Overheard by: Christine M.
Archive for the ‘Ladies Who Lunch’ Category
Upper Body
One woman in her late 20′s talking to another, in a Williamsburg cafe: “Her upper body‘s okay.”
Depends on What Your Definition of “Invented” Is
Businesswoman: It was almost like something I invented, although the restaurant did have that dish. But other restaurants didn’t have it! –Midtown office
I Don’t Know English, I’m American
Spinster #1: How do they pronounce it in French ‘Oh Bow Pain’?
Spinster #2: Well, it is French and you pronounce ‘Au Bon Pain’.
Spinster #1: I don’t know French; I’m Spanish.
–Au Bon Pain, Union Square
Overheard by: Tamika J.
It's Like He Thinks We Don't Need Silk Garbage Bags
Upper West Side wife #1: He thinks I can operate this household on $25,000 a month–that bastard better get a better job.
Upper West Side wife #2: Yeah, really, he needs to get his shit together.
–83rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Mike
Insert “Sucky Movie” Headline Here
Blond lady who lunches #1: What the fuck is it with the kids these days and their fucking vampires?
Blond lady who lunches #2: Fucking Twilight.
–Madison Avenue
Overheard by: LES girl trying not to laugh
I'm Pretty Sure That Was Its Dead Mother's Hand
Lady who lunches #1: Did you see that sad picture of the little African baby on the cover of the Times today?
Lady who lunches #2: I know, it is terrible, but didn't you love the hat it was wearing?
–Crosstown Bus M79
Overheard by: TimNH
But He's All, “I'm Gay, Mom.”
Lady who lunches #1: This is his first marriage, he should enjoy it while it lasts. They aren't all gonna be this new.
Lady who lunches #2: True, true…
–Monkey Bar, E 54th St
Overheard by: Jenn-O
What Do You Know About Superstring Theory?
Woman #1: You know, when I remember my childhood, I realize that my family was really complicated; my father and uncle were always fighting… Actually, my uncle tried to shoot my father once -
Woman #2: Wait, what?
Woman #1: Listen, that’s not the complicated part.
–Westside Brewery, Upper West Side
Overheard by: vitupera
PETA-Approved Wednesday One-Liners
HS boy to two friends: Dude, you’d be surprised how many vegetarians are into meaty chicks.
–E train
Man eating salad: Vegetarians should be evolutionarily punished.
–Small diner, Chinatown
Girl to friend: Hey, do you think that the reason he doesn’t like oral sex is because he’s vegan? [Friend is silent.] Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s it.
–112th, between Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Gigi
Cougar dining with pals: I’m an animal-lover, so I’m going to get the fish.
–Rue 57, 57th & 6th
Crazy woman: Vegetarians have better sex!
–F/V train stop, Houston & 1st Ave
Overheard by: So, no hot beef injection?
Woman handing out leaflets for veganism: Come on, come on! Vegans have better sex! No, really — try me!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: What is she trying to sell here?