Lady #1: That new arm implant birth control is so weird.
Lady #2: What’s so weird about it?
Lady #1: I don’t know — it just sits there inside you and doesn’t go away.
Lady #2: How is that any different from that IUD thing that sits in your uterus?
Lady #1: It is different! Things to up and down in your uterus.
–39th & 6th
Archive for the ‘Ladies Who Lunch’ Category
So, What, a Connecting Flight to Maryland?
Woman #1: I was supposed to go to Detroit tonight.
Woman #2: How far is that?
Woman #3: Eight hours, right? ‘Cause it’s, like, eight hours to Miami.
Woman #1: But Detroit’s in Chicago, not Florida.
Woman #3: Oh, yeah.
–Bowery
Each One Is Unique
Woman #1: How does one spell ‘Shaniqua’?
Woman #2: I’m not sure there’s a standardized spelling…
–Midtown
So Joanie’s a Dyke and Henry’s 400 Pounds — That Was Way Too Easy
Woman #1: Oh, my son, Henry, never wears jeans. He thinks they are too itchy.
Woman #2: Well, what does he wear, then?
Woman #1: We can only buy him soft pants.
Woman #2: Oh, well my daughter only wears one-piece bathing suits, but we bought her some bikinis today, and when we got home she said, ‘I’d rather bite off all my toenails than wear those.’
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Chris Storey
So If She Kills Her Fiancé, She Can Be Forgiven
Lady #1: Yes, my sister did end up getting pregnant by the guy, but her fiancé doesn’t know yet. She doesn’t know what she is going to do.
Lady #2: What about having an abortion?
Lady #1: Oh, no, she’s Catholic!
–Restaurant, 77th & 3rd
Overheard by: Addie
Sensitivity: Ten; Entertainment: Three (No Tits and Ass)
Woman #1: We saw Chorus Line.
Woman #2: Oh, I’ve seen that. It’s really sexist.
Woman #1: No, they re-did it. It’s not really sexist anymore.
Woman #2: Oh, really?
Woman #1: Yeah, now it’s just boring.
–Starbucks
It Makes Cappucino and Houses a Family of Five
UES trophy wife #1, in black dress: … And the dress was only twenty-six hundred dollars!
UES trophy wife #2: Wow, that’s fabulous!
–David Burke & Donatella Restaurant
Should I Not Add That It’s for My Husband’s Infantalism Fetish?
Woman: Oh, I gotta defrost my breast milk!
Lady friend: There’s something everyone doesn’t want to overhear…
–80th & West End
Overheard by: Nikki… so did not want to overhear that
I Mean, Unless You’ve Got Wolf Titties, or Something
Woman to friend: God, it’s so hot! I’m going to take my shirt off once we get outside.
Random guy: Nice!
–Sullivan & Broadway
Seems a Lot of Effort for a Two-Year Marriage
Woman #1: … So he’ll go to the one in Mexico, and I’ll go to the one in Greece.
Woman #2: Yeah, I don’t think I’ve been to a destination wedding yet.
–45th & Madison