Archive for the ‘Ladies Who Lunch’ Category

And I Prefer to Be Called “Rubenesque”

Very loud woman: You ain’t gonna believe the shit that bitch said to me.
Friend: Who? Your friend?
Very loud woman: Yeah, that bitch, my friend. She ain’t my friend.
Friend: What she say?
Very loud woman: She say, ‘Oh, girl, I ain’t seen you in a long time — like weeks! You look so swollen! Why you so swollen?’ I was like, ‘Bitch, I ain’t swollen, I’m fat. Why you dissin’ me?’

–Starbucks, St. Mark’s

Have You Located the Controls of Your Spacecraft Yet?

Lady: I’m pretty sure I think about sex a lot less than other women my age. I mean, I never ever really wanted to have sex with anyone, and the only people I have ever had sex with have been those to throw themselves at me…
Male friend: What about other women?
Lady: I don’t think any women ever really want to have sex. I think they just do it out of pressure and curiosity, because really, it’s not that good.

–Sri Lankan restaurant, 5th & 1st