Archive for the ‘Ladies Who Lunch’ Category

So Joanie’s a Dyke and Henry’s 400 Pounds — That Was Way Too Easy

Woman #1: Oh, my son, Henry, never wears jeans. He thinks they are too itchy.
Woman #2: Well, what does he wear, then?
Woman #1: We can only buy him soft pants.
Woman #2: Oh, well my daughter only wears one-piece bathing suits, but we bought her some bikinis today, and when we got home she said, ‘I’d rather bite off all my toenails than wear those.’

–Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: Chris Storey

Have You Located the Controls of Your Spacecraft Yet?

Lady: I’m pretty sure I think about sex a lot less than other women my age. I mean, I never ever really wanted to have sex with anyone, and the only people I have ever had sex with have been those to throw themselves at me…
Male friend: What about other women?
Lady: I don’t think any women ever really want to have sex. I think they just do it out of pressure and curiosity, because really, it’s not that good.

–Sri Lankan restaurant, 5th & 1st