Pilot: Welcome to the Titanic of airliners. –Delta plane, LaGuardia
Little girl in stall: Vagina!
Little girl: Vagina!
Little girl: Vagina! Vagina! Vagina!
–Ladies’ room, LaGuardia
Dude to another: Yeah, but she got a yeast infection from sitting around naked on muffins all day.
Overheard by: chris
Artsy guy on cell: No, no, she’s not naked… But you want to see her naked!
–12th & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK
Flight attendant: Your pilot for the flight today is Buck Naked. Your first officer is Justin Case. That’s just in case Buck Naked decides to get buck wild.
Dude: I heard that all they do there is have sex and drink beer… And have naked snowball fights.
–41st & 7th
Slightly drunk kid from Alaska: I realized I had blacked out when I woke up on top of my sister.
Overheard by: The Reverend
Young girl on cell: You passed out from him choking you? (pause) Like…does it…um…sting? Did he apologize at least? (pause) Ya know, it's not okay to get so fucked up that you don't know that he's choking you.
Overheard by: D to the ana
Loud girl on cell: Oh my god! Don't even worry about hitting on her too much, she was totally blacked out last night!
–Whole Foods Union Square
Overheard by: bildita
Preppy girl: Is "faint" a euphemism for "boner"?
Overheard by: Diana
30-something ramper: So, Gerald Ford died, huh?
20-something ramper: Who’s he?
30-something ramper: A president of the United States, you dummy.
30-something ramper: Oh, he was that Bay of Pigs guy, wasn’t he?
–Ramp breakroom, LaGuardia
Child: Mommy, why do we have to take off our shoes?
Mom: Because that’s the kind of irrational world we live in, where little children have to take off their shoes.
–Security line, LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: jenya
Mother: Oh my god! I just saw a bird fly by the window! Isn’t that neat?
Teen: Don’t be ridiculous, Mom. Birds can’t fly that fast. It was probably a bullet.
Southern housewife #1, waiting for flight: Chinatown was scary–there was nooooobody that looked like us.
Southern housewives #2-#7: (all gasp)
Southern housewife #1: Noooooobody that looked like us!
Woman: Does anyone have something I could write with?
Mother: I do! One second.
Woman: Great, thanks.
Mother: Be careful, it’s my most favoritest pen. –LaGuardia Overheard by: Jess Kimball
Drunken skinny pretty girl: Why is she so mean? I mean I'm a skinny pretty girl. She should not be mean to me!
–Halloween Party, Tribeca
Drunken hobo to girl leaving Sephora: Let me tell ya how to look beautiful. Fill ya buckets with money. Bucketfulla money makes ya look beautiful.
Overheard by: Lillian
Voice on loudspeaker: Last call for pretty man. Last call to board for pretty man.
Overheard by: Jen
60-something woman to tenor, after La Traviata: Finally, an Alfredo who is good-looking!
–Stage Door, Metropolitan Opera
Hobo: I was voted best-looking bum by bum weekly 1996.
–45th & 3rd