Guy: (says something in Hindi to friend across the aisle)
Crazy guy: Go on over there, son.
Guy: Do you speak Hindi?
Crazy guy: No, I speak French.
Guy: Well, I was speaking Hindi.
Crazy guy: Well, I was speaking Spanish.
–L Train
Archive for the ‘Language Barrier’ Category
The British Ghetto in Texas?
20-something male with slight accent: Man, this is bloody annoying.
Middle aged male: You know, I've been meaning to ask. Are you British?
20-something male with slight accent: I'm from Texas, you wanker.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Locational
What's Your Sign, Wednesday One-Liner?
Young man to pretty girl with glasses eating hot dog: That hot dog matches your beautiful glasses!
–Hot Dog Stand, 34th St
Overheard by: gothchick
Dude to girls crossing street: Hey, miss ladies! Youse look nice out!
–Ludow & Stanton
Overheard by: M & J
Guy to girl passing by: El sexy-o! I know how to say it in Spanish, I wanna know how to say it in Caucasian!
–14th St & 1st Ave
Crazy guy: Hey, Snow White! Come talk to Black Beauty. Cuz you know vanilla and chocolate make a good fudge, girl.
–W 110th St
Overheard by: Ashley
Bro standing in sidewalk, harassing passing girls: Hello! I've been waiting all my life for you! Hello, where have you been all my life? Hello, I eat pussy. Hello, I've got money. Hello?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
NYC Public Bathrooms Are Multi-Multi-Purpose Spaces
Man in bathroom stall to old Chinese man persistently knocking on his door: Look, I only got in here just now. Stop knocking! I'm gonna learn Chinese just to tell you how it is.
Man using urinal: Don't be hatin'.
Man in bathroom stall: Don't be stupid!
–Columbus Park
Parfait.
Man with cowboy hat: I think I'm gonna do the biscuit.
Chinese woman behind counter: Parfait?
Man with cowboy hat: Huh? Um, no. I'm gonna do the biscuit.
Chinese woman: Parfait.
Man with cowboy hat: No, thank you. (walks away)
–Deli, 53rd St
Overheard by: AdHoculi
A Bulgarian Wax Will Pull Your Balkans Off
Heavily accented barista: Vat can I get forrr you?
Customer: I'll have a tall, iced, nonfat latte…I like your accent. Are you from Brazil?
Heavily accented barista: No, I'm from Bulgaria.
Customer: Oh. Is that near Brazil?
–Starbucks
Overheard by: *smacks forehead with hand*
Where Are They Now?: Wednesday One-Liners
Old lady to friend: You know who I feel sorry for? Yoko Ono.
–Central Park West
Female suit on cell: I once gave Carrot Top a massage.
–UCB Theater
Overheard by: Robert
Ghetto girl on cell: I know you ain't no Jay Leno and I don't speak Avatar!
–Fort Greene
Sober guy to drunk older guy: You know what you look like?? You look like a fucked-up Bobby Brown.
–3 Train
Woman at outdoor cafe: She's not that bad, she's more Snooki than Fran Drescher.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Rick
Man's Best Wednesday One-Liner
Slightly thugged-out guy, rapping to little white poodle: Li'l coco! You's a muthafuckin' beast, yo! Li'l coco! Yeah!
–Cobble Hill, Brooklyn
Overheard by: John Bender
Guy to dog: Lady, it's just me! There's only me!
–77th St, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Jon A.
Big burly guy to tiny yorkie, as it sniffs tree and walks away: Well, thanks for that false alarm.
–43rd St & 10th Ave
Upper West Side lady to little pampered dog with sweater: It's okay, baby, you can talk.
–80th Ave & Columbus
Hipster dog walker, whispering to herd of dachsunds: Mushhhhh…
–Central Park
Ms. Zellweger Really Needs to Stop with the Plastic Surgery
(white guy says long phrase in Chinese to Asian girl)
Asian girl, annoyed: I am not even Chinese!
–Brooklyn
On a Scale from 1 to Lol
Hipster girl to friends: Oh my god, how lol are we right now?
Friend: Oh my god, so lol!
–20th & 8th, New School Dorm