White guy exiting bodega: Yo! As-salam alaykum!
Middle Eastern guy behind counter: Hey! Kick his ass, sea-bass!
–Astoria
Overheard by: ChrisW
Archive for the ‘Language Barrier’ Category
Straight Women Think Drag Queens Are Happy Meals With Toys Inside
Woman #1: It must be all in French!
Woman #2: Oh, drag queens!
–Shubert Alley
Overheard by: Zach
Further Evidence That Judaism Has an I.Q. Prerequisite
Wannabe Jew: Shprehen ze Deutche?
Religious Jew: Huh?
Wannabe Jew: Isn't that how you say “do you speak Yiddish?” in Yiddish?
Religious Jew: No.
(wannabe Jew looks around and walks away)
–Brooklyn Public Library
…I Thought Calling Them Animals Was a Little Disrespectful.
Tour guide with a thick accent: Alvight fovlks, vee are about to stop at the Bronx Soo. Anybovy vishing to see animalz need to get off.
Teenage girl #1 to her friend: I don't wanna see no damn Indians, do you?
Teenage girl #2: No, no, honey, not the Sioux. She was talking about the zoo.
Teenage girl #1: Ohhhhh.
–Uptown NY Tour Bus
Isn't That a Type Of Butter?
Tween boy, interrupting conversation with German girl: Wait! Do you live near the autobahn?
German girl: What?
Tween boy: The autobahn. It's like the parkway!
–22nd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Where to Begin?
Customer: Can I get a cafe au lait, please?
Dunkin' Donuts store clerk, perplexed: Caf' what?
–Dunkin' Donuts, Park Place
Or, at Least, It Does When You're Stoned.
Guy: Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
Girl: Huh?
Guy: It means “do you speak Dutch”?
Girl: Ohhhhhh.
–Outside McSorley's Tavern, East Village
Overheard by: bildita
You've Always Lived on the Edge, Irene.
Grey-haired white guy #1: That presentation had way too many numbers.
Grey-haired white guy #2: He loves numbers.
Grey-haired white woman: Numbers are good, but that was too many numbers.
Grey-haired white guy #1: I don't like numbers. Yo no quiero muchos numeros.
Grey-haired white guy #2: Si! Yo entiendo.
(they crack up)
Grey-haired white woman: Wait… What does that mean?
Grey-haired white guy #1: It means “I don't like numbers.” (they laugh again)
Grey-haired white guy #1: I heard Hispanic-speaking people don't actually say “me gusta.” Anyone know if that's true?
Grey-haired white guy #2: Hmm, I thought it was just Colombians.
Grey-haired white woman: I used to know a Puerto Rican woman.
–Financial District
Overheard by: Office Temp
Urge to Choke…Rising
Teenage checkout worker, jokingly to coworker: I swear to fucking god one of these days I'ma just reach over and choke you. You are so goddamn annoying I will choke you! (Asian chick approaches, gives bag to teen worker)
Teenage checkout worker, leaning over counter: Nah whadda mean? Nah whadda mean? I'ma choke this mudafucker right here one day.
Asian chick: (silently gives bemused smile)
Teenage checkout worker: I swear to god I'ma choke this one right here, nah whadda mean?
Coworker being threatened: Yo, she doesn't speak English.
Asian chick, with sass: Excuse me? What you don't think I speak English? What, cause I'm Asian you don't think I can fucking speak English?
Coworker: (shocked silence)
Teen checkout worker: You tell him, girl! You tell him!
Asian chick: Yeah. Yeah. I got an 800 on the English section of the SAT. Yeah, I speak English.
Teen checkout worker: Tell him! Say that shit again yo, what was your score, girl?
Asian chick: An 800!
–B&H Photo Video
Overheard by: you tell him, girl!
Then He'll at Least Think You're Stupid
Girl #1: He keeps calling. What should I do?
Girl #2: I know! Pretend you only speak French. So when you answer your phone, be like (in awful French accent) “Allo?”
–52nd St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: Lindsay