Archive for the ‘Languages’ Category

Just Use Your New York Instincts and You’ll Do Fine

Student: Um, would we really use the extremely polite form with random strangers on the street?
Japanese teacher, exuberantly: Oh yes, definitely.
Class: [Laughter.]
Japanese teacher: I’m not kidding, you don’t want to make them think you like them or want to get close to them… they’re a stranger! You want to keep as much emotional distance from them as possible.

–Japanese Class, Columbia University

Overheard by: Vicksburg

Wednesday, Are You Fucking Kidding Me With These One-Liners?

Fat chick to cute friend's blind date: So, wait, is Jean Garafolo a man or a woman?

–Tribeca

Overheard by: Becka Dash

20-something blonde girl: Is there an English word for "quesadilla"?

–F Train

Checkout lady, pausing with a container of hummus after scanning it: Lots of people buy this stuff…what is it?

–Myrtle St

Overheard by: Myrtle & Carlton

Woman entering RadioShack: Excuse me, do you have radios?

–RadioShack, 72nd & Broadway

B9 bus driver to passengers: Make a left here?

–B9 Bus

Overheard by: VeganBeauty

Don’t Read Too Much Into Wednesday One-Liners

Teenager: Dude, my sister is always stealing her friends’ books, but like, sometimes no one has the book she wants, how much easier would it be if there was like, a Blockbuster, but for books.

–Blockbuster

Girlfriend to boyfriend: Did you bring something to read on the train? I’m trying to decide if I want to talk to you, sleep, or read my book.

–A Train

Overheard by: The Green Cat

Teenage girl: I need Romeo and Juliet. But do you have any with, like, the English on one side and Shakespeare on the other?

–Barnes & Noble, Union Square

Spoiled colleg girl to friend: My mom really wants me to get a nice big tote because she’s really worried about how I’m going to carry all my books. But I’m, like, worried if I’m even going to read my books.

–Outside Bloomingdale’s Dressing Room

Chick: So they called him up on stage, and they were like: "We want to bestow this honor upon you." And he was like: "It is indeed an honor, an honor indeed." And I’m all like: "Come on, like, I mean, seriously, like, who talks like that? Can’t you take it down a notch! Don’t you read US Weekly or anything?

–Starbucks, Woolworth Building

NYU girl to male friend: There’s almost something poetic about it, you know? Like, the 20-year-old Catholic virgin from Connecticut losing it to the older Ecuadorian lothario? Hell, I should just write a book about my life.

–NYU Dining Hall

You'd Think It Was Another Country

Teen geek #1: I need a passport.
Teen geek #2: What for? You don't go to other countries.
Teen geek #1: I went to Canada!
Teen geek #2: Canada?! Canada doesn't count!
Teen geek #1: Canada totally counts! If you go to the French part, they speak French and stuff.

–F Train

Overheard by: jayloo who burst out laughing