Archive for the ‘Languages’ Category

Instead Of a Sweatshop in Brooklyn!

Student #1: Yo, who cares about the surrender at Yorktown?
Student #2: Actually, that's mad important.
Student #1: Oh, really?
Teacher: Well, if the British hadn't surrendered we'd all (in a British accent) talk like this and sound ridiculous.
Student #1: Um, no, if that had happened I'd probably be in Pakistan, in my village, farming.
Student #2: You'd be dead because the British had control of Pakistan too.
Student #1: And you'd be working a factory in China! –Stuyvesant High School

Wednesday One-Liners Could Pinch Hit for William Safire

Wardrobe consultant chick: Hey Jorge*, el foodo is here! Wait a minute, what’s the word again? –Men’s Wearhouse, 34th & 5th Overheard by: erak Tourist woman on cell: That’s not even the right thing to say to somebody in a fight. A "punk" is from the 50s. It’s like a tough guy or a street guy. –56th & 5th Woman on cell: You know what pull my finger means? Well you better start pulling your finger. Pull it 24/7. –12th & 1st Guy: Korean words don’t end in vowels, you fuckhead. Except for "Korea"… and "Hyundai". –Chelsea Market Yuppie dad lecturing two school-age sons: Last week, this girl in my class said that something just sucked and I told her, "You know, when you’re in English class, vocabulary is cool, and it’s better to say that something is disappointing instead of saying that it sucks." –Tip-Top Shoes, W 72nd St Overheard by: Susan Volchok Man on cell: Do you know what trifling means?? No! It does NOT mean truffle-making! –17th & 6th Overheard by: Thirsty Violet Guy, passing "La Bagel Delight": That means "The Bagel Delight" in
French! –7th Ave, Park Slope