Archive for the ‘Latinos’ Category

Where to Begin Correcting That Sentence?

A couple of black kids are pushing around a Hispanic kid, who is holding a spoon covered in chocolate pudding for some reason. Black Kid: Wipe that shit off, nigger. Wipe it off! –14th St. & 1st Ave.

Methinks the Lady Doth Protest Too Much

Puerto Rican Teenager #1 in Williamsburg: “Hey, calling someone else gay means that you’re gay!” Puerto Rican Teenager #2: “Are you calling me gay? ARE YOU CALLING ME GAY? I’m not gay! Bring any woman out here right now, and I will fuck her in front of you all, in front of the world. Anyone. Do it, right now! I will show the whole world that I am not gay! Do you hear me? Do you hear me? I AM NOT GAY!”

They Pay Their Rent with the Gold Fillings

Puerto Rican Girl #1: So I saw Jose at his job? And it was kinda cool? Because I’m not afraid of gross and freaky shit.
Puerto Rican Girl #2: Uh huh.
Puerto Rican Girl #1: And you know, they make good money. You just gotta go to school for a couple years or somethin’. And not be afraid of gross and freaky shit. You gotta study–what is it called?
Puerto Rican Girl #2: Morturary science? –A train

Crossfire for the Dim-witted

Black Girl: Yeah, it’s like some Irish guy waving a British flag around.
Spanish Girl: Why you gotta be saying that? How do you know half my family ain’t Irish?
Black Guy: You want politics, you want diversity? L.E.S., baby, L.E.S., is where it’s at! –Karma, 1st Ave. Overheard by: Tibbie X

No, But Her Acting is Contagious

Girl: Salma Hayek is part Mexican and part Syrian.
Guy: She’s cesarean? Ain’t that a disease? –7 Train Overheard by: LugoLounge

They Grow Up So Fast

Asian Kid: The fucking Triads are on your tail, bitch. Run!
Hispanic Kid: Fuck that! The Latin Kings will pump lead into your asses.
Black Kid: Nah, the Bloods and Crips will beat you down.
Jewish Kid: Yo…Um…I’ll get my yarmulke peoples to smack you all, son. What now nigga spic chink bitch ho? Suck my matzoh balls, bitch! –Canal Street Overheard by: Jonathan Harris

Aw Yeah, That's the Stuff!

Cute, slightly obnoxious girl: I didn't get sexually harassed today!
Huge Latino male friend: High five!
(five or six people from surrounding tables walk over to get in on the high fives)

–Esperanto Cafe, 3rd & MacDougal