Archive for the ‘Latinos’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Don't Count Anal

Girl on cell: I don't know what it is with me and virgins. I think I've collected like four virgin scalps.

–Q58 Bus

Overheard by: Tom

Cashier, screaming to friend cashier: But why do you have to tell everyone that he's the guy who popped my cherry?

–72nd & 1st

Overheard by: tomas

Ghetto girl: If you got finger-popped, you ain't no virgin.

–Downtown 6 Train

Overheard by: Jake M

Teen boy on cell: Of course I don't have any kids! Girl, you know I'm pure–like water in Africa.

–Manhattan Ave & 123rd St.

Overheard by: CreativeBunny

Hispanic girl, loudly to a group of friends : I mean, I'm still a virgin and I have three STDs!

–Ave C

Wednesday One-Liners Smell Like Victory

One Hispanic lady to another: How you gonna give a kid with stinky feet Botox?

–R Train

Overheard by: Ferna

Smelly granola girl on cell: I dunno, maybe Wilco is too big to have an opening act. The show was, like, two days ago. (stops, sniffs armpit and winces) Fuck, I need a serious shower. I haven't been home since the show. Doesn't that suck? When you forget to clean up after a few days? (laughs to herself)

–McCarren Park

Overheard by: AleKatz

Woman on cell: It smells like college!

–BrewFest, South Street Seaport

Office student: It literally smells like my ass.

–CCNY Computer Lab

Girl: Nigga, you smell like the crack in my titties.

–Q Train

Dude on cell: Man, she came six times last night. It was crazy! (pause) We were soaking wet, but I didn't mind. It was nice to see her enjoying it. (pause) No, it didn't smell. It didn't smell like anything.

–Union Square

Overheard by: who are these people?

After the Fistfight, an Ethnic Mismatch Comedy Started Production

Black receptionist: Carlos De Jesus George? Are you here?
Latino receptionist: It’s not pronounced ‘De Je-zus George,’ but ‘De He-sus Hor-he.’
Black receptionist: Excuse me? What are you saying? This clearly says ‘Carlos De Jesus George.
Latino receptionist: No mother would name their son Jesus. And besides, that’s not the correct pronunciation in Spanish.
Black receptionist: What? Oh, girl, you know I don’t speak those words.

–Doctor’s office, 15th & 1st

Why Stephen Hawking Retired: Explained

Chulo #1: What sign are you?
Chula: Aries. You?
Chulo #2: Asshole. That's his sign: asshole.
Chulo #1: Naw, man. It's cancer.
Chulo #2: Why do so many people believe in that astrology shit?
Chulo #1: Because it's true!
Chula: It's so true. I've got all the personality traits. Like, I think I know everything. I get along real well with Leos, we're all bossy together. What sign are you?
Chulo #2: Scorpio.
(chula and chulo #1 laugh knowingly)
Chula
: Oh, yeah, you know what that means. You're a lover.

Chulo #2: Ha ha, yeah?
Chula: You see someone and like that, you're in love. And then, two weeks later, you don't want nothing to do with her.
Chulo #2: Um… No… I mean, not really…
Chulo #1: Yeah, man, it's all true. Written in the stars.

–Downtown A Train

Overheard by: Rose Fox