Archive for the ‘Laughter’ Category

Grandma Saw This at the Drive-in Movie

Girlfriend: She was laughing that her grandmother choked to death on a hot dog.
Boyfriend: A what?
Girlfriend: A hot dog.
Boyfriend: What?
Girlfriend: Her grandmother choked to death on a hot dog.
Boyfriend: Is that a euphemism?

–1 Train

Overheard by: Slooop

I Always Preferred Bin Laden Barbie

Older lady #1: He's a very nice guy. He looks like a terrorist, but he's so sweet.
Older lady #2, laughing: Really? Well, that's good.
Older lady #1: Yeah. He's so smart! Really bright, and really good at making you feel comfortable. I was so glad to have him helping us. But he definitely–if you look at him–he's like teddy Taliban.

–Waiting Room, NYU Hospital

Overheard by: Hector Hamas?

Wednesday One-Liners for Hezbollah

Officer to old lady: Hey, don't leave you bag on the floor, there are terrorist everywhere.

–45th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: StriderNo9

Suit on cell: So you're gonna vote for a Muslim and a terrorist?

–MoMA

Hipster to friend: Yeah, terrorists totally love Bush.

–46th and 9th

Overheard by: choosing not to capitalize the B

Tourist: Are you guys terrorists?

–Rally for Gaza, 42nd & 7th

Overheard by: ooga booga

Loud black queer teen: But his best joke was like "What do you call people who hate ketchup?" (no response) "Al-Qaeda!" (bursts out laughing) Get it? It's funny because they don't have ketchup in Iraq!

–1 Train

Overheard by: Ketchup lover

Wednesday One-Liners Take the SocioPATH Train

Suit on cell: It's not that I don't like people, I just think that they're expendable.

–Union Square Cafe

20-something to visiting family: We are about to go up a bunch of stairs. If you complain, you will be pushed back down them.

–Mulberry & Canal

Laughing suit to others: So, yeah, I just stepped over the body.

–42nd St & 5th Ave

Mother to small crying child: Honey, I did listen to you, but I can't make myself care.

–V Train

Overheard by: Hunter

Doesn't Our Friendship Have a Clause That Prohibits You from Singing?

Perplexed girl #1: What is with that guy from Tokyo hotel? Is it a man or woman?
Perplexed girl #2: It's like a shim. I think it's like androgynous… Sort of like Pat!
Perplexed girl #1: Oh my god! That movie was the best! We should totally rent that and laugh hysterically at it. (starts singing) “It's time for androgyny, here come Pat!”

–2nd Ave

Wednesday One-Liners, in Brief.

Man eating ice cream while trying to walk: Beanobeanobeanobeanobeanobeanobeanobeano.

–49th St and 7th Ave Station

Man dressed in green unitard, running in circles: Augghhhhhhhhhh!!! Aughhhhhhhhhh!! Aughhhhhhh!!!!

–Union Square

Moviegoer, after preview for The Blind Side: Blerrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (vomiting noises, then audience erupts in laughter)

–Regal Battery Park Stadium Movie Theater

Teenage boy, taking gum out of his pocket and looking at it: Scrotum! (puts gum back in pocket and walks away)

–95th St & Madison

Overheard by: Confused

And Given It a Reality Show Called Kirstie Alley's Big Life

Teenage girl: But it's not a squid, it's an octopus.
Father: It's a cephalopod.
Teenage girl: But if it just rose out of the water, all of a sudden, and grabbed hold of the bridge, what would people scream? “Help! It's a giant cephalopod!”?
Father: The more erudite among them would scream that, yes.
Teenage girl: (laughs)
Father: Actually, I think they would just scream, “Aaaarggghhh!”
Teenage girl: Stop it! People are staring!
Father: But I find it hard to believe that something that big could just sneak up on people.
Teenage girl: Yeah. If it existed, they would have found it by now.

–Brooklyn Bridge