Archive for the ‘Leisure’ Category

Let’s Just Say “Sandwiches” Were Involved

Hungover sandwich maker lady: Man, I just wanna go home.
Girl, who clearly doesn’t want to make conversation: Mmmm.
Hungover sandwich maker lady: Man, I came in here drunk this morning!
Girl: Oh, uh, I’m sorry.
Hung-over sandwich maker lady: Why you sorry? I had the time of my life last night! –Subway, 8th & University

Wednesday One-Liners Snort When They Laugh

Guy to self: Doctor Jean Grey has the most powerful orgasm of all the X-Men. –Union Square Park Overheard by: Stan Engineering school chick, screaming: And I was like, ‘Oh my god, this is the worst protractor ever!’ –Columbia University Skanky hipster chick to another: I would totally do him… But only if I had the ninja outfit on. –Ludlow St. [Four NYPD cops are checking people’s bags at rush hour. A man in a suit appears to be their superior.]
Man in suit: But then he realizes that Jedis don’t seek revenge. [The four cops all nod gravely.] –W 4th St Subway Station Overheard by: KL Fiftyish suit: Chewbacca, the original wingman… –86th & Lexington Overheard by: Ike Woman on cell: I’m busy. I’ve got things to do. And right now what I’m doing is looking at comic books. –Forbidden Planet Overheard by: Josh Chick: We were always competing to be chief geek… But he had asperger’s, so he won. –Central Park

Wednesday One-Liners Swore They’d Never Become Like Their Parents

Dad to young daughter: If you want to hit daddy, you’ll have to take a number. –Outside Court St. Bagels, Court & Bergen, Cobble Hill, Brooklyn Exhausted dad to loud, hyperactive, young son: Yes, everyone knows you’re here. Terminal six food court line. –JFK Overheard by: Jen Mother, to seven-year-old son as she enters a liquor store: Jesus, what’s wrong with you? This is why nobody likes you -you’re annoying! –Outside Liquor Store, W 57th St Overheard by: PetRunner Father quizzically looking at waddling toddler: How can you be anti-park? I mean, you’re a kid! You can run around! –Fort Greene Park Overheard by: Brooklyn Dodgy Sassy inner-city mom to dawdling daughter: Get ovah here or I’m going to have to take out my imaginary belt. –Tompkins Square Park Mother, to five-year-old daughter picking up cookies: Is that what you eat at daddy’s house? –The Food Emporium, 88th St Overheard by: charlotte Mother speaking sternly to her infant in the baby carriage: Capiche??? –53rd & 9th Overheard by: AH Hell’s Kitchen