Archive for the ‘Lesbians’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Should Not Be Taken If You Are Pregnant or Nursing

Kid to friend: Is your dad in town? I need Ambien CR. –Saatchi & Saatchi, Hudson St Overheard by: dlr Guy on cell: No, they never came. [Pause.] I just never got them! [Pause.] I told you you can’t just send random pills through the mail! –Strawberry Fields, Central Park Strung out middle-aged lesbian: How long does that detox stuff take to work? I need to be clean of the Xanax by my doctor’s appointment next week. He knows I’m on meth, but he can’t find out I’m on Xanax. –E Train Worried suit: …But I can’t be on Zoloft, so I don’t know what to do. –E 14th St Patient to friend: He asked for an Ensure. He got an Ambien instead. –NYS Psychiatric Institute Overheard by: nonrandomerror Suit: Her meds worked better this audition season -you could tell. –Oriental Garden

Wednesday One-Liners Embrace the Stereotype

Queer: I don't want someone to fuck me with their stoma! –11th St & 6th Ave Overheard by: Amanda Gay guy: That girl is such a Rice Krispie. –Outside Gristedes, Christopher St Overheard by: McF Queer on cell: And I said to him, "Take it like the bottom you are!" –8th St & 23rd St Gay guy: I just got pounded by the two hottest guys I've ever seen! –58th & 9th Gay man (getting his hair cut by another): So we went to Fire Island this weekend and we went to this party. I said, "Patrick, you better pee on Jon right now to mark your territory." –57th & 7th Gay man on cell: Oh, morals disappear after 8pm! –Amsterdam & 83rd

Omagah, It’s Wednesday One-Liners!

Gay man with a completely serious tone: It is going to take a lot of brownie mix and a lot of sex -but I am committed. –W 52nd & 9th Overheard by: I wish I knew what they were speaking about Queer: Well kids, it’s been great, but I gotta go. I have a meeting in a little bit and I want to masturbate first. –Wagner College Dinning Hall Queer: Anyone can just leave. It takes a true queen to make an exit. –Christopher Street Overheard by: Rose Fox Queer: And then I was so glad I miscarried because getting knocked up and being pregnant is like, such a hassle! –Sarah Lawrence College Overheard by: bitterfame Gay guy on cell: So wait, you got kicked out because a couple of bitchy fags sprayed you with alcohol? –23rd & 7th Black queer: My pillow is Gucci! Raaaaaah! [He beings to attack people with said Gucci pillow.] –Pillow Fight, Union Square Overheard by: Lillian Old large gay man to group of young gays: It was really great meeting you all. You are such an interesting group of people. [To one boy.] I’d love to see you in a speedo! –Hollywood Diner, 17th St & 6th Ave