Husband pushing carriage to wife: You're lucky I'm on my way to church right now, or I'd kill you. –Upper West Side Chick on cell: But the real question is, is he Catholic? And an insomniac? –113th & Broadway Overheard by: Poogins Sequined Australian drag queen: Well, I know an Antichrist religion when I see it. –2nd St & 2nd Ave Overheard by: Alisha Girl on phone: He told me he was raped by a Catholic priest when he was little, but like I don't believe him. –Butler Library, Columbia University Train conductor: 110th Street, Cathedral Parkway. There are churches here, you know. –1 Train Man to woman, after getting off cell phone: Ah, that was Nancy–booty call. She says I gotta get over there before she's got to go to church. –Q Train Overheard by: spygirl
Gay man: You know how when the cops come to arrest some guy in the middle of the night, there's always some screaming woman in bed with him?
Gay man: I was that woman! –Butler Library, Columbia University
Teen boy #1: Heather got raped.
Teen boy #2: What?
Teen boy #1: She got drunk and he took advantage of her. She told me. She got curvy lips, though. –Brooklyn Public Library Overheard by: caitlin
Old man wearing suspenders #1: That's a great pair of suspenders.
Old man wearing suspenders #2: Thanks. I had a heckuva time getting them.
Library security guard: Sir, please lower your voice. –New York Public Library, 34th & Madison
Woman: Oh my God?! Did you just pee on me?
Man: I dunno what you’re talking about, you crazy. –NY Public Library, 5th Ave & 40th St. Overheard by: Sabrina Braswell
Four-year-old girl to nanny: No, princesses don't get tickled. They just dance and get married. –North Williamsburg Overheard by: anti-feminist White girl in hoodie: If I see any of the other girls there want to dance with you they'd better watch out, 'cause it's stab-a-slut Sunday. –J Train Short guy with greasy hair: Yo, this girl was like, "wanna dance?" and I was like "okay," so she started dancing mad good. She was grinding up against me with her ass. –3rd Ave & 71st, Brooklyn Gay guy on cell in long line during Circuit City closeout: Does it have speakers? Because I like to dance in my room, and I like to feel the music. It's really cold, so I like to dance in my room, you know? –Circuit City, Union Square Drunk girl to Guido she knocked heads with while dancing: I'm a drinker, not a dancer! –Hook & Ladder Pub, Murray Hill Overheard by: also a drinker Professor: I'm of the personal opinion that anything counts for art. Take, for example, Nelly's "Hot in Here." We have an admonition of certain weather conditions and an entreaty for certain members of a demographic to react within a certain way, and a compliant voice replies, "I am getting so hot, I'm gonna take my clothes off." This piece of art demonstrates how much easier life would be if getting a woman naked was that easy. And also, it makes me dance, and as we know, hips don't lie. –NYU Bobst Library Overheard by: queenofscots
Security guard: Ma’am, you can’t use your cell phone in here.
Frumpy mom: What? I can’t? In the whole library? Why can’t you use your cell phone in the library? –Library, 23rd St Overheard by: Liberry Lady
Guard dude #1: There’s a guy over there touching himself again.
Guard dude #2: What, the same one as before?
Guard dude #1: Yeah. –New York Public Library Main Branch, 42th & 5th Overheard by: Rob
Girl on cell: Five hours later, I was still pulling cum out of my hair! –13th St Overheard by: questioning the physics Drunk girl to drunk guy: I would love to be 5'8", I mean…it's like not tall…but like not short. (four minutes later, screaming) Yeah…like…too much thought is like…bad for you! (later) They should've jerked you off in your sock! –84th & Amsterdam Ave One of four middle aged men on a bench: Well, the key is to never swallow the cum, spit the cum out. –Central Park Overheard by: Dan High voiced hobo to teenager: I want you to cum on my face. –72nd St & Broadway 20-something girl on cell: Oh, you can't carry the microscope with you? Well, if you come here we'll have to forgo the sperm. If I come to visit you, then we can work it into the schedule. –Ess-A-Bagel Overheard by: Emma NYU dude: How do you get cock-blocked while you're jizzing?! –St. Mark's Place & 2nd Ave Overheard by: IWasWonderingThatToo Student, slamming reproductive biology book shut: Sperm! It's everywhere! –Bobst Library Overheard by: ttny
Maid of Honor, posing for wedding photos on the steps to the library: How about over there in front of the fountain?
Bride: No. She’s got naked boobies.
Maid of Honor: It’s art. –New York Public Library Overheard by: Jaydubjay