Girl on cell: Five hours later, I was still pulling cum out of my hair! –13th St Overheard by: questioning the physics Drunk girl to drunk guy: I would love to be 5'8", I mean…it's like not tall…but like not short. (four minutes later, screaming) Yeah…like…too much thought is like…bad for you! (later) They should've jerked you off in your sock! –84th & Amsterdam Ave One of four middle aged men on a bench: Well, the key is to never swallow the cum, spit the cum out. –Central Park Overheard by: Dan High voiced hobo to teenager: I want you to cum on my face. –72nd St & Broadway 20-something girl on cell: Oh, you can't carry the microscope with you? Well, if you come here we'll have to forgo the sperm. If I come to visit you, then we can work it into the schedule. –Ess-A-Bagel Overheard by: Emma NYU dude: How do you get cock-blocked while you're jizzing?! –St. Mark's Place & 2nd Ave Overheard by: IWasWonderingThatToo Student, slamming reproductive biology book shut: Sperm! It's everywhere! –Bobst Library Overheard by: ttny
Maid of Honor, posing for wedding photos on the steps to the library: How about over there in front of the fountain?
Bride: No. She’s got naked boobies.
Maid of Honor: It’s art. –New York Public Library Overheard by: Jaydubjay
Male law student: You know who I feel sorry for?
Female law student: Who?
Male law student: A black guy with a small dick.
Female law student: Why?
Male law student: Because the expectations are so much higher.
Female law student: You mean, like, with you it’s just expected, right?
Male law student: Not me. I’m hung like… like a black guy.
Female law student: You mean like the black guy who isn’t well-hung? –Brooklyn Law School library Overheard by: Big Larry
NYU girl #1: You were talking to him so much last night. Were you feeling him?
NYU girl #2: I was feeling everyone last night. Literally. –Bobst Library, W 4th St
College kid #1: Ben Franklin is here today.
College kid #2: Oh, I know him. –New York Historical Society Overheard by: Emily B.
Girl #1: How's your diet going?
Girl #2: Really good. I've been working out like crazy and I haven't had any water like all day.
Girl #1: Good for you. Water's like soooooooooo heavy. –Butler Library, Columbia University Overheard by: branbran
Desperate law student: But I love you!
Heartless biotech: That’s your problem, not mine.
Desperate law student: I can’t live without you.
Heartless biotech: So don’t.
Desperate law student: You wouldn’t even care if I killed myself, would you?
Heartless biotech: Not unless you decided to do it in front of my house and I had to have police and the media there. Then I’d be pissed.
Desperate law student: How can you be so cruel to someone who loves you so much?
Heartless biotech: Oh, just one thing — if you do decide to kill yourself try to do it the week of August sixth, ’cause I’ll be in Martha’s Vineyard with Jason then. –Brooklyn Law School library Overheard by: Big Larry – cringing with empathy
Student #1: How long have you been here?
Student #2: I live here for four years.
Student #1: Your English is perfect! What is your native language?
Student #2: I speak Thai. Your English is fine, too. You are from Trinadad, right? What is your native language?
Student #1: English. –FIT library
Suit, embarrassed after tapping man on shoulder: … Sorry, I thought I knew you [starts to walk away].
Man he tapped: I’m your cousin! –New York Public Library
20-something women in yoga gear, simultaneously: It was like a blessing in cake form. –Astor Place Girl: I'm too single to eat a brownie. –NYU Library Guy on cell: Soft Serve is so good, you will step in dog poop and not even care! –14th St b/w 7th & 8th Serious guy on his way out of restaurant, to girl: So all we need are aspirin and Skittles. –Angelo's Pizza Assertive little boy in shopping cart seat, grabbing mom's face: I want to buy a chocolate croissant and eat it. Do you understand what I'm saying? –Food Coop, Park Slope Overheard by: Jenny