Archive for the ‘Licking’ Category

If Everybody You Meet Is a Wednesday One-Liner, Check the Mirror

Guy to friend: Yeah, Eric's an asshole, but he's like… my asshole. –11th & Broadway Overheard by: Z Man on cell: I enjoy sucking the wind out of assholes. –Brooklyn Public House Overheard by: In fairness, the conversation was about verbal bullies Girl: Wow, my asshole has just been all sorts of evil all day, I shat in four different bathrooms on this floor and the one up, so I wouldn't suffer alone. I shared its wrath. Is that wrong? –Office, Midtown Loud dude: My asshole is really fucking itchy! –Bronx High School of Science Overheard by: urbanadventurer Crazy hobo: Attention everyone! You're all assholes! Stupid assholes!! –Park Row, near Brooklyn Bridge Overheard by: Hollister

Some Wednesday One-Liners to Make You Lose Your Appetite

Guy on cell: It's not like I take my ear wax, put it on my penis, and use it as lube. –Queens Overheard by: Jess Friends on stoop: Bro, did you see that ass? I would lick the fart out that ass! –19th & 6th Middle-aged yuppie, about club in Las Vegas: And I said "here's our check, and if another pubic hair falls in our drink, you're in trouble!" –Times Square Overheard by: Scott Boy in car to mom: Hey mom, what about anal leakage? –Brooklyn Overheard by: Brenna Guy to friend: She said she was stressed out studying for finals, I didn't realize that meant she hadn't been showering. As soon as I got there we started "hitting it". It was too late when I realized how dirty she was. Dude, I literally licked a layer of crust off her. –3rd St b/w Ave A & B Overheard by: saffrosun

The End Of Western Civilization: An OINY Short Story.

Lawyer #1: I saw this funny video on YouTube last night. I did a search for “retards” and there was this one called “retarded Britney Spears fan.” It was a retard singing one of her songs.
Lawyer #2: Have you seen 2 Girls 1 Cup?
Lawyer #1: I was able to watch about two seconds of it before I had to click it off.
Lawyer #2: Did you see the one called “extreme pain”? I could only watch about five seconds of it. A guy was cutting off his own dick.
Lawyer #1: That's some sick shit. How's your cat?
Lawyer #2: You should see her. She rolls over on her back and my dog licks her between the legs for a long time, then smacks his lips.
Lawyer #1: You should video that and put it on YouTube. Call it “eating pussy.” You'll get a million hits! –Civil Court, 141 Livingston St., Brooklyn Overheard by: Big Larry

Wednesday One-Liners Have Lips and a Beard, but No Nose

Woman to friend: I just don't understand these women. I mean, get your head out of your bush and look around! –66th & Broadway Overheard by: rawr Girl: Oh, I was wondering why my vagina was vibrating! –Salvation Army, 11th & 4th Man on sidewalk, waving arms: I can't, can't, can't, can't, can't get enough pussy! –125th St & Park Ave Overheard by: wonders why Woman on cell: I get my pussy eaten out so much I don't even want it anymore. –Staten Island Ferry Girl on cell: Oh, come on, I can see her vagina from here! –Court St & Dean St, Cobble Hill Overheard by: Astigmatic