Guy: Hottest piece of ass I’ve ever seen.
Girl: She is beautiful, huh?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: So you think they’re real?
Guy: I dunno.
Girl: I think they’re natural.
–Houston & Lafayette
Archive for the ‘Little Italy’ Category
Wednesday One-Liners: Glug Glug Glug, Ahh!
NYU student to another: I haven't been drinking as much since I turned 21.
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Rogelio
College girl to friend: I wasn't drunk, I was just cheerful.
–Canal St & Mott St
20-something girl on cell: He was drunk and fucking his demon ex-girlfriend.
–181 & Ft. Washington
Guy in dirty army clothes to another: I was still drunk, thank god Dunkin' Donuts was open.
–D Train
Middle aged guy on cell: That's what happens when you drink, motherfucker! You can't remember shit!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Aron
Or Maybe Uzbekistan
Teenage girl: You know you're from New York when you've never been to the Empire State Building.
Mother, after pause: Oh, yeah…
–Mulberry St
Overheard by: Lindsey
We Also Would Have Accepted “'Copping' a Feel”
Drunk brunette #1 to cop: We're what you call us… Badge bangers!
Drunk brunette #2: Yeah!
–Canal & Centre
Overheard by: Tits McGhee
Wednesday One-Liners Take the SocioPATH Train
Suit on cell: It's not that I don't like people, I just think that they're expendable.
–Union Square Cafe
20-something to visiting family: We are about to go up a bunch of stairs. If you complain, you will be pushed back down them.
–Mulberry & Canal
Laughing suit to others: So, yeah, I just stepped over the body.
–42nd St & 5th Ave
Mother to small crying child: Honey, I did listen to you, but I can't make myself care.
–V Train
Overheard by: Hunter
What's Your Feeling on HIV, Then?
Hipster girl: I didn't know you smoked.
Hipster guy: Yeah. I know it's bad for me, but I really don't want to be old.
–Broadway & Broome
And I Told You Not to Wear All Brown
Little kid to passerby: Poop! Bye bye, poopie!
Obnoxious girl, stopping in middle of street and glaring at kid: Did she just call me a poop? What the hell!
Girl's friend: “Poopie,” not poop.
–Little Italy
Wednesday One-Liners: Great for Bachelor Parties!
16-year-old girl on cell: So like, for Halloween my mom told me about this strip club we could go to…
–110th & Central Park West
Overheard by: sophie Balis-Harris
Drunk stumbling Yankee meathead to fellow meatheads: Yo! Let's get some fucking strippers! I don't give a fuck about my girlfriend! (pauses and looks around) If I drop any more beer on this woman… (spills half his cup on her back) Ah, fuck.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: seat 12 section 23
20-something woman on cell: What, you had sex with that stripper?!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Liz
Drunk suit: Yeah…we did it up fo' my son's 18th birfday. He be graduatin and all this year, so we sprung fo' a stripper.
–Q67 Bus
Overheard by: Kate
Teen screaming into cell: Stripper. (pause) No, stripper!
–Little Italy
So Pretty Much the Same As the Semester
Girl #1: So how's your break going?
Girl #2: Oh, you know, I've been stumbling upon a lot.
–Mulberry St
Which Is the Algonquin Word for “Bad Driver Land”
Woman, looking at car which just hit hers: That's Why! They're from Pennsylvania!
–Little Italy
Overheard by: Lena