Archive for the ‘Long Island’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Think Bugs Bunny Is Gay

Fat girl to friends: You know who I want to be? Motherfucking Rainbow Brite. Bitch had a flying horse.

–29th & 7th

20-something guy, following very loud clap of thunder: By the power of Greyskull!

–Center Boulevard, Long Island City

Overheard by: mixxy5

Hobo, to no one in particular: Find me on the computer; my name's Scooby-Doo.

–Starbucks

Cop to partner: God, working with you is like working with Stewie Griffin. (whiney) Briiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaan… Briiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaan!

–Train

I Don't Even Like Thinking About Life Cereal

Pudgy short guy #1: What's going on? Yoga! That's like stretching and stuff, right?
Pudgy short guy #2: No, man. It's like contortion and meditation and stuff! You think about your life.
Pudgy short guy #1: Oh, no way! I don't like thinking about my life. Like, living it is cool, but I don't want to think about it.

–Park, Long Island City

Overheard by: Courtsnort

What Did the Environment Ever Do for Wednesday One-Liners?

Recycling activist: I myself used to be a plastic bottle!

–Outside BLT Burger, 6th Ave

Overheard by: sromeo

Student: Why the fuck are people still building greenhouses if we have the greenhouse effect?

–Columbia University

20-something to friend: I don't understand the sudden concern about global warming…I mean, it's what happened at the end of the Ice Age!

–LaGuardia Community College, Long Island

Overheard by: lulah

Greenpeace worker: Hey! Do you fucking care about the environment?

–Washington Square Park

Greenpeace guy, with puppy dog face: Are you sad about the trees?

–78th St & Amsterdam

Overheard by: citysnidget

Plug-and-Play Wednesday One-Liners

Female tv & radio producer: I don't understand how women can have kids today when there are Blackberries.

–Bloomberg

Overheard by: Yalie09

Man to woman at bar: That's the beauty of freezers!

–Bar, 13th St

Woman, to nobody in particular: Excuse me, but does anyone know how to use a Blackberry? I just got it today.

–Long Island Railroad

Girl on cell: It's not my fault, it's the technology.

–W Houston & Hudson St

14-year-old boy to mother: She spends hers on books, markers; on beads for her hair; I spent mine on this PDA to organize my life!

–F Train

Overheard by: ap.scigaj

Get Embarrassing Stains Out With Wednesday One-Liners!

Woman on cell: I didn't take a bath with your dog!

–Long Island Railway

Overheard by: Jeff

Smug girl to gaggle: No, these are my period pants. My mom washed them for me!

–Columbia University

Overheard by: bih.

Very loud crackhead to nobody in particular: Today is great day…I got my pussy washed and I got new crutches.

–14th St

Overheard by: Cuttie

Middle aged man to another: I miss seeing my wife do squats while cleaning the tub.

–Central Park Loop

Overheard by: Nick Kinling

Woman with awful red lipstick: I am too lazy to shower. Ooh! Did I tell you I discovered dry shampoo?

–Broadway & 112th

Overheard by: do us a favor and bathe

Teenage girl to another: I don't know what the fuck he's talking about…I wash my titties everyday with Lever2000.

–D Train

Overheard by: Derrick Walker