Teenage boy: We should go hang out in Park Slope.
Teenage girl: No, we shouldn't. The yuppies will run us over with their strollers.
–Long Island City
Overheard by: Sunny
Archive for the ‘Long Island’ Category
What Did the Environment Ever Do for Wednesday One-Liners?
Recycling activist: I myself used to be a plastic bottle!
–Outside BLT Burger, 6th Ave
Overheard by: sromeo
Student: Why the fuck are people still building greenhouses if we have the greenhouse effect?
–Columbia University
20-something to friend: I don't understand the sudden concern about global warming…I mean, it's what happened at the end of the Ice Age!
–LaGuardia Community College, Long Island
Overheard by: lulah
Greenpeace worker: Hey! Do you fucking care about the environment?
–Washington Square Park
Greenpeace guy, with puppy dog face: Are you sad about the trees?
–78th St & Amsterdam
Overheard by: citysnidget
No More Johnny Depp Movies for You, Missy.
Mom to overactive five-year-old: No, they can't put chocolate sprinkles on yo' taco!
Overactive five-year-old, singing: Chocolate, chocolate, what a wonderful thing! Chocolate, chocolate, what a wonderful thing!
–Long Island City
Overheard by: astoria mets fan
That Explains Your 2002 Christmas Card
Michigan tourist: The first time I came to New York, Shannon and I saw two men pull knives on each other–they had a gang fight in the street!
Michigan tourist's mom: Oh my!
Michigan tourist: It was hysterical. We took pictures.
–Long Island Railroad
Plug-and-Play Wednesday One-Liners
Female tv & radio producer: I don't understand how women can have kids today when there are Blackberries.
–Bloomberg
Overheard by: Yalie09
Man to woman at bar: That's the beauty of freezers!
–Bar, 13th St
Woman, to nobody in particular: Excuse me, but does anyone know how to use a Blackberry? I just got it today.
–Long Island Railroad
Girl on cell: It's not my fault, it's the technology.
–W Houston & Hudson St
14-year-old boy to mother: She spends hers on books, markers; on beads for her hair; I spent mine on this PDA to organize my life!
–F Train
Overheard by: ap.scigaj
Get Embarrassing Stains Out With Wednesday One-Liners!
Woman on cell: I didn't take a bath with your dog!
–Long Island Railway
Overheard by: Jeff
Smug girl to gaggle: No, these are my period pants. My mom washed them for me!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: bih.
Very loud crackhead to nobody in particular: Today is great day…I got my pussy washed and I got new crutches.
–14th St
Overheard by: Cuttie
Middle aged man to another: I miss seeing my wife do squats while cleaning the tub.
–Central Park Loop
Overheard by: Nick Kinling
Woman with awful red lipstick: I am too lazy to shower. Ooh! Did I tell you I discovered dry shampoo?
–Broadway & 112th
Overheard by: do us a favor and bathe
Teenage girl to another: I don't know what the fuck he's talking about…I wash my titties everyday with Lever2000.
–D Train
Overheard by: Derrick Walker
To Be Fair, Skinny Jeans Are Much More Constrictive
Conductor #1: He's like “it doesn't bite!” I'm like “I know it doesn't bike…it constricts! The last thing I need is that thing getting loose and finding some four-year-old kid wrapped in a snake. You can get on, but Daisy stays on the platform.
Conductor #2: Who brings a snake out in public anyway?
–LIRR, Woodside station
Overheard by: I'm with the conductor on this one…
When “How Many Candy Corns Are in the Jar?” Stops Being a Fun Party Game
Guy: How many dicks can you fit in your vagina?
Girl: Umm, I'd say five.
–Fire Island
Overheard by: Pranav
Kinda Like Birthing a Calf
Bearded guy: So I was looking at porn the other day and saw this chick getting fisted and it reminded me of you.
Blonde girl: Oh yeah. Was it anal?
Bearded guy (fist pumping against other hand): Oh, it was full on.
–LIRR
Overheard by: well…was it?
Mostly CNN
Seven-year-old boy: You know Britney's on crack, she's on crack. And your girl Lindsay is so going to jail for selling cocaine. That Britney is crazy.
Aunt: That boy watches too much TV.
–LIRR
Overheard by: I think lindsay is going to jail too