Archive for the ‘Long Island’ Category

What Did the Environment Ever Do for Wednesday One-Liners?

Recycling activist: I myself used to be a plastic bottle! –Outside BLT Burger, 6th Ave Overheard by: sromeo Student: Why the fuck are people still building greenhouses if we have the greenhouse effect? –Columbia University 20-something to friend: I don't understand the sudden concern about global warming…I mean, it's what happened at the end of the Ice Age! –LaGuardia Community College, Long Island Overheard by: lulah Greenpeace worker: Hey! Do you fucking care about the environment? –Washington Square Park Greenpeace guy, with puppy dog face: Are you sad about the trees? –78th St & Amsterdam Overheard by: citysnidget

Plug-and-Play Wednesday One-Liners

Female tv & radio producer: I don't understand how women can have kids today when there are Blackberries. –Bloomberg Overheard by: Yalie09 Man to woman at bar: That's the beauty of freezers! –Bar, 13th St Woman, to nobody in particular: Excuse me, but does anyone know how to use a Blackberry? I just got it today. –Long Island Railroad Girl on cell: It's not my fault, it's the technology. –W Houston & Hudson St 14-year-old boy to mother: She spends hers on books, markers; on beads for her hair; I spent mine on this PDA to organize my life! –F Train Overheard by: ap.scigaj

Get Embarrassing Stains Out With Wednesday One-Liners!

Woman on cell: I didn't take a bath with your dog! –Long Island Railway Overheard by: Jeff Smug girl to gaggle: No, these are my period pants. My mom washed them for me! –Columbia University Overheard by: bih. Very loud crackhead to nobody in particular: Today is great day…I got my pussy washed and I got new crutches. –14th St Overheard by: Cuttie Middle aged man to another: I miss seeing my wife do squats while cleaning the tub. –Central Park Loop Overheard by: Nick Kinling Woman with awful red lipstick: I am too lazy to shower. Ooh! Did I tell you I discovered dry shampoo? –Broadway & 112th Overheard by: do us a favor and bathe Teenage girl to another: I don't know what the fuck he's talking about…I wash my titties everyday with Lever2000. –D Train Overheard by: Derrick Walker

To Be Fair, Skinny Jeans Are Much More Constrictive

Conductor #1: He's like “it doesn't bite!” I'm like “I know it doesn't bike…it constricts! The last thing I need is that thing getting loose and finding some four-year-old kid wrapped in a snake. You can get on, but Daisy stays on the platform.
Conductor #2: Who brings a snake out in public anyway? –LIRR, Woodside station Overheard by: I'm with the conductor on this one…