Conductor, speaking in a robot voice: Watch the gap, watch the gap, watch the gap, watch the gap, watch the gap, watch… Sorry, my finger fell off the button. Watch the gap.
Train conductor: This is a Brooklyn-bound A experience to Lefferts boulevard. Have an optimistic day!
Overheard by: soothed passenger
Conductor, in droll voice: For the fifteenth million time, there is train traffic ahead.
Conductor: This is 207th street, the last and final stop. Please collect all your personal belongings and leave the train. Goodnight and happy wabbit season.
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Conductor: Thank you for riding on the C line, the best subway line in the whole, wide world.
Overheard by: traPt
Conductor: If you want to get off at South Ferry, please go to the first five cars of the train. All passengers getting off at South Ferry, please move along the platform to the first five cars of the train. Yes, the front of the train is the direction the train was moving.
Conductor: We apologize for the delay, but this happens on the weekends. For info on service changes log onto www.mta.info. If you don’t have a computer, watch NY1, if you don’t have a TV, listen to 1010 Wins, if you don’t have a radio, call 718-330-1234, if you don’t have a phone, go home and wait for a miracle.
Overheard by: subway rider