Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

Money Can't Buy Me Wednesday One-Liner

Girl on cell: And then she said "dammit, I'm in love with a 52-year-old gay man," and I was like "well, who isn't?"

–Astoria

Overheard by: AnotherFagHag

Man on cell: So I told her, "I missed you more than I loved you," but I didn't mean it in a bad way.

–6th Ave & 17th St

Overheard by: memzilla

Black student to black girl sitting next to him: See that's why niggas don't tell bitches they love 'em!

–St. John's University

Overheard by: naha

Thug on cell: No, no. I love your whole ass as issss.

–Broadway & Beaver

Girl to group of friends: Right, I'm so incapable of love because I think sex is gross!

–LIRR

Hot 20-something to another: Either he acts like he doesn't know me, or he is a total asshole. No wonder I'm in love with him.

–Union Square

White People Flee the Train Before It Gets to Wednesday One-Liners

Sassy black woman: You think I would have brunch in Harlem? I wouldn't even have lunch in Harlem!

–D Train

Overheard by: laughing

Dramatic girl on cell: But I love you. I would go to Harlem and back for you!

–Starbucks

Girl: Wow, Harlem is like a cultural playground. There are stores and everything.

–Metro-North

Columbia freshman girl: I would never let anybody in Harlem touch my vagina.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Meagan

Dude, Kids Would Rather Have the Father Than the Money

40-something man to small toddler: I love you very much, sir.
Toddler: (inaudible gibberish)
40-something man: I will make you very rich, sir.
Toddler: (more inaudible gibberish)
40-something man: When I die you will be very wealthy, sir.
Toddler: (more inaudible gibberish)
40-something man: I will make you so much motherfucking money, sir. You will be so motherfucking rich, sir.

–12th St & Ave B

Overheard by: John