Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

The Best Things in Life Are Wednesday One-Liner

Woman on cell: Why aren't you looking for some boy to do it for free? –E 3rd & 1st Ave Overweight MTA worker with megaphone: Free shuttle buses to Utica Ave. Follow the crowd. Free shuttle buses to Utica Ave. Follow the crowd. No shirt, no shoes: no service! –Franklin Ave Subway Overheard by: Jesus Jon Homeless guy: Free boogers! Get your free boogers! –8th & 6th Overheard by: Zack Old woman with glass of wine and full plate, stumbling out onto the sidewalk: Ha! It's free! Everyone, free food! Ha! –Open House Art Exhibition, 106th St & Broadway Guy giving out free pens: Come on, don't be shy! Come get your free pens! This is New York City, only thing you're gonna get for free are these pens and your mother's love. –Kimmel, NYU Wanna-be thug eating ice cream: Wanna know how much I paid for this? S'free! I stole it. –125th St & Broadway Overheard by: EthanK Hobo stopped for stealing a box of bottled water: But Obama's President! Everything should be motherfucking free for the next 279 years! –Duane Reade

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Hey, I Saw the Crude Sketches in the Boys' Restroom Way Before That

(class is watching a science video)
Scientist in the video: The problem with the big bang is that we know nothing about it. We don't when it banged, why it banged, how it banged, what exactly was being banged…
(entire class laughs)
Smart-ass student: See, when a man loves a woman…
Smarter-ass student: Please, as if you didn't just learn that last year in bio! –Stuyvesant High School

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WednesDEA One-Liners

Loud guy: Hey! Illegal drugs, anyone? Illegal drugs? I want to buy some illegal drugs! –6th Ave & 34h St Overheard by: Emily College girl to friend: Remember that time when you slept with that drug trafficker? –33rd & 3rd Man in restaurant: After the roofies I took I was a total mess, it was amazing. –23rd & 10th Overheard by: Matt Man to friend holding Diet Coke: Do you remember when they had this at that gay bathhouse I had to go to because my drug dealer was there? –Duane Reade Dude, about crowd: I'm so glad we dropped acid before coming here. –Trader Joe's, Union Square Overheard by: Kat Loud girl on cell: She can't just call you up and like, reminisce and be like, "remember when we loved each other?" Oh, and I don't even want to talk about the conversation we had this morning. There's no excuse to do acid! –Wagner College

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We Heart Wednesday One-Liners, Now More Than Ever

Guy to friend: Oowee! Some weed and a perm! That's my perfect New York day. –West Village Overheard by: Joe Conductor: Step in, stand clear…let's go New York! –1 Train Overheard by: Ashley Nelson Intoxicated creepster: Are we in Manhattan? What the hell! This city is so full of New Yorkers! –St. Mark's Place Overheard by: Lizzzzz Bitter man on subway: I think one summer here would cure them of any love they have for this town. –1 Train Passerby to surprised-looking wife, watching fight: They're fighting. It's New York, that's what people do in this city. –City Hall Overheard by: ascorbique & almost famous Grinning paramedic to female tourist in shock, strapping her to backboard after she was struck by a car: Welcome to New York! –34th St & 7th Ave Overheard by: Mateo que Feo

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A Lovin’ Spoonful of Wednesday One-Liners

Little boy: I love Manhattan! I love Tic-Tacs! –Brooklyn Heights Wife to husband: No wonder your eyebrows are making love! –47th & 5th Overheard by: anon Biotech to texting friend: Now we’ll see how much he cares about you. I love testing people! –23rd Ave, Astoria Overheard by: sara n. Gleeful hobo rubbing stubble beard: I love my beard! Mmmm, I love you. –93rd & Broadway Overheard by: punkee Queer on cell: I don’t want love handles on love day! –Lafayette & Astor Woman on cell: Happy Valentine’s Day… Do you still love me, or do you hate me now? –Hudson St Overheard by: lilli

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