New Yorker: There’s the Brooklyn Bridge over there. You can walk over it.
Tourist: Really?
New Yorker: Yep.
Tourist: And is this City Hall?
New Yorker: Yes. I don’t know this area very well…there’s Starbucks!
–City Hall Park
Archive for the ‘Lower East Side’ Category
No, I Won’t Shake
Super: Toilet’s fixed. Sorry I was so gruff before, but my hands were full of shit. –Ave A
Sick Not Funny
Mother (to son): Well, I thought you had beautiful legs, Greg. –Lower East Side
So why was she wearing a Chris Isaak t-shirt?
Young Asian woman at a party on the Lower East Side: “…and it turns out that Chris Isaak asked me out only because he has an Asian fetish, and he’s apparently dated every Asian girl in San Francisco, I was creeped out…”
These People Really Do Exist in New York…
A fat Italian “businessman” in a Members Only jacket is standing on the corner talking to 2 other fat Italian guys. An SUV drives by, honks the horn twice, and then speeds off. The “businessman” turns around quickly and loudly yells: Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Fuckin’ faggot. –LES
If It’s Throw Up on a Plate, Then It’s Called Curry
Her: I don’t care how hungry I am, I’m not gonna eat a plate of somethin’ that looks like throw up!
Him: Well I’m gonna go inside and eat my throw up and you can wait out here or whatever, I don’t care.
–1st Ave. between 6th & 7th St.
Overheard by: K. Thor Jensen
NYers on the Issues: Shoes
Hispanic girl on cell: I don’t care what shoes you’re wearing, you’re still Puerto Rican! –92nd & Broadway Woman: When a girl tells a guy she likes his shoes, that means she wants to fuck him. –Delancey St.
“…and Stop Trying to Test Me for a Hernia!”
Guy #1: I got a cough.
Guy #2: You got a cough?
Guy #1: Yeah, I got one.
Guy #2: I wonder if it’s the same one I got.
Guy #1: It’s a cough.
–LES
Overheard by: David Bowman
Out of the Mouths of Babes
Woman #1: It’s really small, you know, but the sex is wonderful.
Woman #2: You mean he’s rich?
Woman #1: Yeah. Exactly.
–Union Square
Rick James is Spinning in His Grave
Guy: I said, “I hate to break it to you, but I’m straight.” And she said, “If you like girls, don’t introduce yourself as Jeremy. It’s a nice name.” And I said, “I’m not interested in girls like that. I like the superfreaks.” –Belly, LES