A fat Italian “businessman” in a Members Only jacket is standing on the corner talking to 2 other fat Italian guys. An SUV drives by, honks the horn twice, and then speeds off. The “businessman” turns around quickly and loudly yells: Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Fuckin’ faggot. –LES
Her: I don’t care how hungry I am, I’m not gonna eat a plate of somethin’ that looks like throw up!
Him: Well I’m gonna go inside and eat my throw up and you can wait out here or whatever, I don’t care. –1st Ave. between 6th & 7th St. Overheard by: K. Thor Jensen
Hispanic girl on cell: I don’t care what shoes you’re wearing, you’re still Puerto Rican! –92nd & Broadway Woman: When a girl tells a guy she likes his shoes, that means she wants to fuck him. –Delancey St.
Guy #1: I got a cough.
Guy #2: You got a cough?
Guy #1: Yeah, I got one.
Guy #2: I wonder if it’s the same one I got.
Guy #1: It’s a cough. –LES Overheard by: David Bowman
Woman #1: It’s really small, you know, but the sex is wonderful.
Woman #2: You mean he’s rich?
Woman #1: Yeah. Exactly.
Guy: I said, “I hate to break it to you, but I’m straight.” And she said, “If you like girls, don’t introduce yourself as Jeremy. It’s a nice name.” And I said, “I’m not interested in girls like that. I like the superfreaks.” –Belly, LES
A man has a bag full of young dogs.
Chick: Oh look! It’s a pouch of puppies!
Angered Man: Puppy pouch. –5th St. & 2nd Ave.
Middle-aged man: So they say to me, ‘Ken, just because you have that gun on us doesn’t make you any better than us’.
Friend: Um, yeah.
Middle-aged man: And I said to them, ‘That’s what I’m talking about, man, that’s what I’m talking about!’ –Delancey St. Overheard by: cityrag.com
Hipster Dude: That reminds me of the invention of penicillin.
Hipster Chick: Uh huh.
Hipster Dude: You see they discovered penicillin when they observed…
Hipster Chick: Uh huh. –Ave A and 6th St. Overheard by: Cityrag.com
Guy: What does that tattoo say?
Chick: *Sigh* I promised myself I’d never get a tattoo unless I had a kid. Then I got a dog. It says Roxy. That’s her name. Now I have to explain to everyone how I’m the biggest loser in the world. –LES