Archive for the ‘Lower East Side’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Double Their Pleasure, Double Their Fun

65-year-old lady, in bikini top and Daisy Duke shorts, with belly hanging over: Of course I am bisexual…can't you see the view?" –49th St & 7th Ave Overheard by: NATE MATHIS Girl to guy: You can't be bisexual and married, John. That's, like, illegal! –50th b/w 8th & 9th Australian chic at bar: It's weird though, he reminds me so much of my ex-girlfriend. –Mexican Restaruant, Lower East Side Loud girl on cell: No, I did him, it was so good. (pause) Yeah, I fucked her too, she loved it. –Hillside & Edgerton Drunk lesbian: Why can't you be a girl or at least have a really big dick? –Bowery Ballroom

Wanna Buy a Bridge, Wednesday One-Liners?

10-year-old tourist kid: Mom, is Brooklyn famous for its graffiti? –Coney Island-bound D train Overheard by: BB White guy, pointing: Over there in Brooklyn three-year-olds just, like, walk around! –Delancey & Essex Overheard by: Red Hair Guy walking through bar: What’s with Brooklyn and beards? –Union Hall, Park Slope Overheard by: jasonjason Guy: Brooklyn is the middle borough in terms of goodness. –Kosher Delight Thugette to double decker tour bus: Brooklyn! Brooklyn! You’re taking a tour of Brooklyn! I just got out of jail! –Brooklyn Overheard by: Staying on the bus….

Wednesday One-Liners Are Retaining Sperm

20-something woman on cell: I thought I was pregnant because I was nauseous all the time, but then I realized I was just always hungover. –111th & Broadway Overheard by: Ladle Guy to chick: What the fuck did she get pregnant for? She needed to lose some weight. –Bowery Hyper chick: He got me knocked up with this giant pretzel! –LIRR Overheard by: Pretzel Vendor 20-something girl to friend: Oh, so you're thinking because it's Memorial Day weekend you're gonna get preggers? –Hoyt-Schermerhorn Subway Sation Guy, about a couple who'd broken up: She came back to pick up her shit, and when you come back to pick up your shit, you know, shit happens, and she got pregnant. –Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn Overheard by: Ashley Lady suit on cell: Well, unless you want to get me pregnant, I'm not sure I see a way around this! –Columbus Circle

Wednesdays Are Naturally Sweetened With One-Liners

Chick on cell: As a pie-lover, I have a question. –Columbia University Overheard by: Poogins Father to toddler: No, you can't have a doughnut. You just had a doughnut yesterday. You can have another when you're…25! –Doughnut Plant, Grand & Norfolk Large older woman: I like cherry, lemon, peach, apple, and pumpkin. Other than that, I'm not a big pie person. –Central Park Bench Overheard by: Struedel Snatcher Big black guy: And she kept trying to get me to take a pie, but I kept telling her, "bitch, I ain't got no room for no pie!" –Penn Station Young lady to friend, gravely: I understand, but things have changed. That was before the chocolate bonanza. –72nd & Broadway Overheard by: T. Ryan

Democracy Clears Doesn’t Work; Back to Monarchy?

Wheeltard: Round here I’m just an idiot, but not in Brooklyn. I’m king in my neighborhood. When I cross that bridge and they see me comin’, they know I’m king. –Tompkins Square Park Overheard by: Alex Romanovich Girl: I don’t know who she thinks she is, but just because she’s got cancer doesn’t make her Queen Bitch. –Bleecker & Broadway Overheard by: Tony

It Reeks of Wednesday One-liners

Wednesday One-Liners Want You to Know About the Size of Their Bank Accounts

Yuppie on cell (trying to be discreet): Hey mom. Are you busy? Could you Google Maps me? I'm on Houston and West Broadway. Yeah, I didn't want to ask anyone for directions and make a fool of myself. Although I'm pretty sure I just did, because half of this coffee shop is looking at me now. –W Houston Overheard by: Let's face it, we were all new at one point. 40-something yuppie woman: And then I realized that my biggest problem in life is that most of the time I'm incredibly happy, but I'm not aware of how happy I am. –81st & Madison Yuppie dad to seven-year-old daughter: Now when you start buying iPods, that's when you're going to want to have a Visa card. –Stanton & Christie Overheard by: Ross Three-year-old yuppie spawn: Noooooooooooo! I don't want Pad Thai! I want sushi! –Dice Thai, Prospect Park Overheard by: I'll take sushi too but you're payin', kid